• Sixty-seven percent of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies were juveniles (under the age of 18) 34% of all victims were under age 12.
• One of every seven victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement were under age 6.
• Convicted rape and sexual assault offenders serving time in State prisons report that two-thirds of their victims were under the age of 18, and 58% of those–or nearly 4 in 10 imprisoned violent sex offenders–said their victims were aged 12 or younger.
• 80% of inmates serving time in State Prison for intimate violence had injured or killed their victim.” (Criminal Offenders Statistics)
• “The median age of the victims of imprisoned sexual offenders was less than 13 years old.” (Bureau of Justice Standards.)
• “96% of female rape victims in 1991, younger than 12 years old, knew their attackers. 20% were victimized by their fathers or step-fathers.” (US Department of Justice)
• 3 in 4 child victims of violence were female.
• 4 in 10 child victims of violence suffered either a forcible rape or another injury

Do you have a pit in your stomach like I do? I could keep going with these scary statistics…I haven’t even mentioned child pornography which is rampant.

The truth is, we all have known someone who has been sexually molested or raped. And the possibility that even one of us has been molested or raped is 50%. That’s sick. It just makes my skin crawl. It makes me want to live off the grid somewhere and shelter my children from any harm. Why aren’t there more people talking about this? I am always the odd-ball when I say that my 4 year old already understands this stuff. No, I’m not teaching her about sex and things people can do to her. I’m teaching her how to be a little lady. I’m teaching her about secrets. I’m teaching her about how to understand danger.

It is never too early to teach your kids about “good touch, bad touch.” I think we, as parents, need to stop shying away from things that make US uncomfortable. This isn’t about us. This is about protecting our children. This is about saving them from years of hurt, confusion, and anger. This is about saving them from going down a dangerous path of drug addition, of being so hungry for love that they will sleep with anyone to find it. This is about rescuing our children.

Our children need us. They need us to be that superhero for them. All little girls want a hero, and if they aren’t getting it from us (from dads), then they are going to look for it elsewhere. As girls, we fantasize about this…why do you think all fairy tales involved a princess and a savior? Who is her savior?

Let’s not wait for something to happen to save them. Let’s start now.

How can we protect them NOW? 

I stumbled upon Pattie Fitzgerald website while watching the news a while back who teaches “Tricky People” not “Stranger Danger,” because a tricky person could be someone that your child knows. Here are some things that I have learned from her Prevention tips and a few other things that I suggest:

1. First we need to realize that from the statistics, most of the abusers, or “Tricky People”  come from close relationships with the family. With child molestation, not only are the children being duped into keeping quiet and believing whatever lies the abuser is saying, but the parents are being duped to. As parents and protectors of our young, we need to stand up when we are uncomfortable and say no.
2. Second, we need to be willing to be uncomfortable…willing to possibly offend another adult. My daughter has a good friend. Her friend’s dad wanted to take the two girls out for ice cream one day. I remember when the question was asked to me. At first, I felt it. I felt the uneasieness and I didn’t want to say no because I was going to be uncomforable saying no to someone. Yes, maybe, he was just trying to do something nice. But, guess what?! I don’t know him from sin. So, I worked through those feelings of uneasiness and I, politely, declined. It’s better to feel uncomfortable than to live with a burden of guilt.
3. Third, we need to teach our kids that IT’S OK TO SAY NO TO ADULTS. I think we, too often, in trying to teach our children to respect their elders, we teach them that an adult is always right. WRONG! Don’t teach them this. Teach them that if something doesn’t feel right, then to come to you. We need to create a level of respect and trust among our kids. And if you are teaching them that they should do whatever an “adult” says, then there is so much risk in that. Teach them that adults are human too and if an adult wants something from them, then they need to come to you and ask.
4. Fourth, we need to stop forcing our kids to hug and kiss someone. Don’t make your child do something that they don’t want to do. How are we teaching them to be cautious of pedophiles if we are just going to force them to be affectionate with someone that they don’t want to? Isn’t that the same thing that pedophiles do?
5. We need to talk to them. My daughter is only 4, but I am, already, trying to create confidence in our relationship. I don’t want subjects of sex and touch and affection to be awkward. I want to be able to talk, openly, with her about sex, about healthy touch, about relationships with the opposite sex. How many of us learned what sex was from friends, internet, or TV? Thankfully, I had a mother who I, oh so vividly, remember teaching me about sex. In fact, the image of her drawing it out is forever branded in my mind. But, I learned from someone I TRUSTED what it was. I learned what healthy sex was. I learned that it was something that I could talk about with my parents.
6. Listen to your child. If they don’t want to be around a particular person, a babysitter, a family member…this may be a red flag. Don’t force them to do things they don’t want to do.
7. Look up local predators on your state’s database. All states post predators and where they live. You can select a 1 mile radius and see how many live around you in that area.

Let’s do this better. Let’s do it better together. Let’s be more alert. Let’s be willing to be uncomfortable. We can’t save everyone, but we can do our best to be the hero that our kids need. Let’s do it now!

There are some great children books that we can read to our kids that teach them different aspects of understanding danger:

• This is My Body (click here to see where to order)
• I Said No (click here to see where to order)
• Super Duper Safety School (click here to see where to order)

What measures do you take to make sure your kids are safe from predators?