The Paleo Mama

Homegrown and Handmade

Thoughts

Why We Are 20% “Not-So-Paleo”

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If you’ve been around my blog for a little bit of time, you may have realized that I don’t mind sharing my imperfections. I list them out on my post called, “I Am Not Perfect but I Am Enough” with transparency and honestly. Why not? I know we are all imperfect and I don’t try to live up to some fantasy housewife who has it all put together.

So, when it comes to eating Paleo, you should know that I am NOT perfectly Paleo. I know, I know…how can I call myself “The Paleo Mama” if I am not even 100% Paleo?

There are so many reasons why I cannot and never will be 100% Paleo. Before I go on to list them, let me disclose to you that this is just how it works for my family. I don’t encourage naughty Paleo behavior :). However, in all things: balance.

For my family, we are “80/20 lean“. I buy all Paleo foods and we eat almost 100% Paleo at home; so we allow our eating out and being out to fulfill the 20% of our foods that aren’t Paleo.

Why We Are 20% “Not-So-Paleo“:

1. This is the most important reason and the one I want you all to remember, so I am putting it on the top. Life is TOO short to stress, CONSTANTLY, about food. I think it’s important to know why you are eating Paleo and what “bad food” does to your body. I think it’s important to eat real, unprocessed foods most of the time. Paleo is NOT A DIET. It is a guideline that you follow, not a diet for fast results. Results will come with diligence and when Paleo becomes a lifestyle to live by.

This is me at ONE year of eating 80% Paleo!
ONE year of eating 80% Paleo!

2. I realize that I will never have 100% control over my children and my husband’s food choices. What I can do is provide healthy options and encourage healthy choices. I respect my kids as a person and if they gag when eating cauliflower rice, then I’ll allow regular rice (just an example).

When we teach our children good habits, we want them to choose to do something because they want to and because they know it’s right. An example of this is if your child picks up a glass vase of yours and you say to him, “Put that down right now.” He looks at you and says, “You have to come get it from me.” What do you say at that point? My response would be, “I’m not going to come get it from you and I’m not chasing you. I want you to put that down because you choose to and you want to do what’s right.”

3. Paleo beer does not exist. I tried to get my husband to drink hard cider, but he ain’t havin it.

4. Three words: Chic-Fil-A. Chi-Fil-A is my survival fast-food restaurant. Sometimes we are out-and-about and just cannot make it home for lunch or forgot to pack a lunch. So, I get my kids the grilled chicken nuggets with a applesauce.

5. Two words: Ice cream. There is this awesome place near us that makes the most unbelievable ice cream. So, we splurge once every few weeks and share an ice cream together.

Our favorite ice cream place!
Our favorite ice cream!

6. One word: Pizza. I cannot turn down a piece of NY style pizza. It is my weakness. I don’t eat pizza everyday. I have even stopped eating pizza once a week. However, I fully accept the repercussions of my pizza-eating actions that bring me a few uncomfortable hours of gas pain followed by a few trips to the bathroom. I accept it. I know it’s coming. And for me…unfortunately, it’s still worth it!

Family Day: Pizza in the Park!!!
Family Day: Pizza in the Park!!!

7. In social functions I do my best to provide a Paleo-friendly side (without announcing the Paleo label) and I encourage my kids to eat it. However, I don’t limit them, constantly, to just Paleo food. I monitor what they are eating and how much they are eating. I allow room for cake at birthday parties…especially if it is homemade cake!

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Eating cake at a birthday party!

8. THIS IS NOT A DIET! This is a lifestyle and for it to be long-term, you have to allow “indulgences”. They keep you balanced.

9. I love some of my childhood foods so much that when my mom calls me up and tells me she has made lasagna, I’m headed right over! I’m not gonna tell my mama no!

10. Paleo does NOT define who I am. I am more than what I eat. I do not live by a “Paleo Bible”. In fact, there are so many gray foods in Paleo…I’ve decided to stop questioning these “gray” areas so much. Do I eat sweet potatoes? Yes. Do I eat quinoa on occasion? Yes. Do I eat rice sometimes? Yes. Do I eat WHITE potatoes? Sometimes. ::GASP::!!!

11. There is no substitute for cheese. Trust me, I’ve tried them and they are not good. I like cheese on my chili PERIOD.

12. When I eat out, I may try something that is not Paleo. I try to choose healthy, Paleo options when I eat out, but if there isn’t something that is 100% Paleo, I don’t stress.

I want you to know, I don’t advocate any of these reasons. I encourage you to do the best that you can and to feed your family the best that you can. Paleo is MUCH different when you are trying to cook for a whole family. You really do need to leave yourself a little room for grace though, and realize that any step towards eating Paleo is better than what you were before!

We think of this little 20% as TREATS for our kids. We also have a reward system set up so that they EARN these non-Paleo indulgences!

 

Our Families Retro Approach to Living in a Modern World

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I have a confession to make…

I haven’t worked out in over a month.

Call it burnout or just not having the time anymore. I haven’t walked into a gym, haven’t done pilates, haven’t ran (other than a 5K race I did for Breast Cancer Awareness) in a month. ::GASP:: “What a lazy fatty” you are probably thinking.  However I feel great! I don’t feel like I’ve been a lazy slob the last month.

You see, Americans now have this presumption…

…in order to feel beautiful, you must workout.

…in order to feel healthy, you must workout.

…in order to work off that pastry and chocolate, you must workout.

…in order to feel socially accepted, you must workout.

…in order to feel balance, you must workout.

Here’s a question for you, why were women in the 1950’s more healthy, burned more calories, and had more sex?

Yes, that last part is a fact! Weren’t they just stay-at-home-moms and housewives? How did they do it? They didn’t Crossfit, Pilates, Water Aerobics, or marathon training. They didn’t lift weights in a gym or attend a local spinning class. However, according to studies, they were able to burn close to 1,000 calories a day.

So, how did the post-war, 1950’s, generation of women do it?

june cleaver

  1. Well, first of all they consumed a WHOLE LOT less calories than we do today. The average 1950 woman consumed around 1800 calories. The average woman today consumes nearly 2,200 calories!
  2. They cooked with REAL fat. They used butter, lard, tallow, duck fat, and real, raw cream.
  3. They cooked their meals from scratch…eating no processed foods.
  4. They ate lots of fresh eggs.
  5. They cooked their meals with lots of fresh vegetables.
  6. They spent 3 hours a day doing housework. This housework consisted of walking to shops to find groceries, prepping and cooking meals, and gardening.
  7. The 1950 woman had to shop around for her groceries. Most the shops were specialty stores (butcher, baker, farmers) so they had to go to several stores to get what they needed. This was a lot of moving and walking for the woman. Nowadays, women drive to one store to get all they need. We also have deep freezers so we can store food. This requires much less walking.
  8. Owning a car was very rare for the average 1950 woman. So, she had to walk to take her kids to school (that is, if she wasn’t homeschooling).
  9. They played with their children MUCH more. Few families had TV to entertain the family, so they couldn’t plop their kids in front of the TV or iPad or Nintendo DS. At night, the family played board games or listened to music.
  10. Most women had gardens to tend to and food to harvest.
  11. The average 1950 housewife was having MUCH MORE SEX than women today because their time wasn’t divided up between their career, children, and socializing like it is today. \
  12. They didn’t have iPads, iPhones, Pinterest, and Facebook to keep up with. If they were in a social club, they walked there.
  13. Their career was being a housewife and they didn’t sit in an office all day.
  14. They didn’t sit on a phone all day. They walked to who they needed to talk to.
  15. Their hobbies were more skilled-involved like knitting, basket weaving, quilting, canning, candlestick making, and painting. Many of our hobbies today are blogging (ahem…I know), reading Kindle, watching your shows on TV, cruising Pinterest, and playing on iPads.

Let’s face it, we just don’t live up to this. I am trying, I’m seriously trying to apply these things…some of these things… to my life. The advancement of technology has changed so incredibly much in the last 20 years. We are a part of Google + circles and Facebook groups without ever meeting anyone or walking to a group meeting. Trust me everyone, I am preaching to the choir here. This is why I have been trying so hard to give up some aspects of technology because I look around and see how women have become so engulfed in it. Kids bring there iPads to playgroups! This is insane!

We workout more but we are fatter. Ironic.

We don’t have to keep up with the times. Our family has made some decisions to remain in THIS time, our time…because life is short and vanishes so quickly.

Here’s some practical ways I have created a more “traditional” lifestyle in our family:

  1. My husband and I got rid of our iPhones about a year ago (read post here on why). It has been the BEST thing we have done for our family.
  2. The kids are allowed to watched (3) 20 minute shows a day, equaling one hour of TV a day.
  3. We are going to be buying a house with acreage so that we can live sustainably and have a homestead.
  4. I am homeschooling my kids because I want them to understand OUR family values (and so many other reasons).
  5. We got rid of cable over a year ago. We use Netflix for the occasional show or movie.
  6. My daughter rarely uses my iPad. I know all the apps and how awesome they are for educational development, but I am old fashioned. I would rather her use her imagination and find something to play with.
  7. Weekends are family time. We go lots of places and discover new things to do outdoors.
  8. We play games in the evenings. We dance. We rough-house. Our evenings do not revolve around the TV.
  9. I have chosen to stay home with the kids instead of pursuing my career. I know that not everyone can afford this choice and I am, by no means, judging. We are blessed that we were able to make this choice.
  10. The kids don’t have many toys. Instead they are forced to create things and do things with each other. We spend lots of time outdoors.

What ways are you incorporating older traditions into your family?

 

 

Sh*t Paleo Kids Say

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Kids really do say the funniest things! Well, add Paleo to that and a little bit of crunchy and you got your self a hilarious mess!

 

Stealing my Kombucha!

 

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Here are a few things I have heard (and innocent bystanders) my kids say that make me literally LOL:

1. “Can I have my seaweed chips, MOM?”

2. “Mom, can you stop hogging all the KUMbucha and share?”

3. “Can I have some olives?”

4. “Mom, can you give me some coconut water?”

5. “My brother was born in a bathtub.”

6. “Can you wear me this time and not Frankie? I’m tired.”

7. “We drink milk from the hairy coconut.”

8. “My mom puts vinegar in my hair.”

9. “Why do we come to McDonalds to just play and not eat?”

10. “Mom, this milk is GROSS.”

“Oh honey, that is baby milk.” (pumped breastmilk)

11. “Mommy, I didn’t have my honey today yet.”

12. “Stop putting garlic in my ears”

13.  “Stop putting onions beside my bed.”

14. “Can I have my vitamin d drops?”

15. “Can we have brussel sprouts tonight?”

16. “Why is he eating French fries and I have fruit?”

17. “Mom, there’s a diaper in the toilet. I need to go potty. Can you wash this diaper?”

18. “There’s a dryer ball in my pile of clothes.”

19. “There’s a soap nut in my pile of clothes.”

20. “Mom, can I have some more bacon?”

21. “Can I have some more bone broth?”

22. “Can I have some more almond butter on my spoon?”

23. “Why are you putting coconut oil in your hair?”

24. Why are you putting coconut oil on my toothbrush?”

25. “Why are you putting coconut oil on my butt?”

26. “Why are you putting coconut oil in my smoothie?”

27. “Daddy got poop in his eye when he was using the diaper sprayer!”

28. “Papa gave me lots of candy today. Am I in trouble?”

29. “Can I hold those chicken feet before you throw them in the soup?”

30. “Why do people call me weird?”

 

What do your Paleo kids say that you find funny?

 

Serving the Homeless Our Leftovers and Expired Canned Goods

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First, I want to apologize for slacking in the blogging sphere. Life has been intensely busy for us…especially for me. I have been in my studies of pursuing my Doula certification! I am so excited about it. I have had such a fascination with natural birth ever since I had a natural water birth with my son. I feel called to help other women who are pursuing the same kind of birth. I am a massage therapist already and am eager to add Doula training to that!

Anyways, I would like to share something that has been on my mind for years but wondering if there, actually, is a solution to the problem.

Let’s talk about food pantries…

Food pantries give food to the homeless and needy. They are set up by churches and non-profit organizations and we donate to them.  We clean out all our old canned food, you know the “pre-Paleo” food that we don’t eat anymore, and give it to our church’s food pantry.  I am so torn by this. Would you feed your kids food from a food pantry? I know we all would if we were starving and homeless. But I mean RIGHT NOW…if you had the choice, would you feed your kids that food?

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I’m sorry…but they are getting our leftovers. I just feel it is wrong. They are getting junk food, processed garbage, and nothing to nourish their tired bodies. I just think we could do better than this! Couldn’t we? Isn’t there something more we could do to get REAL, whole food to the homeless and needy?

Are there any projects set up that do this? I am searching and searching and haven’t found any. This weighs my heart heavily. My passion and dream would be to one day have a community vegetable garden and real food pantry. I would work with local farms and local hobby farmers that have the same heart and would be willing to donate fresh eggs, meat, milk, veggies, and fruit. I would also buy beans and rice in bulk and separate them in gallon-sized baggies for each person.

However, I realize that when you are used to just opening a can and heating it up, then some education might need to happen. So, I plan on writing out meal plans and instructions to go in each bag!

Can you do this too? Talk with you pastor or find a needy family. Prepare a bag of fresh food with a simple meal plan included and give it to a single, working mother! Let’s try to help the needy a little bit better by not serving them our leftovers and unused, almost expired canned goods! I know we can do better!!!

 

Where is the Church?

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Disclaimer: sorry to everyone who follow me for my recipes. I am not strictly a recipe blog. I post random things on my mind and off topic all the time. If that is, solely, why you follow me, just skip on over this post!

I heard this song, Why by Rascal Flatts, for the first time today and just couldn’t believe how it, perfectly, expressed so many of my thoughts surrounding my sister. For those who don’t know, my sister, Dinah, took her own life about 1.5 years ago. It feels like yesterday. Her boyfriend was very tragically killed in an automobile accident by a drunk motorcyclist who ran a red light. The next day, my sister became overwhelmed with grief, confusion, and darkness. I know that if she was thinking straight and could have a “do-over”, she wouldn’t have done this. It leaves so many questions behind for the family. There never feels like there is comfort at all in her death. Fate didn’t take her. Sickness didn’t take her. She took herself and in doing so, she took everything.

The death of mega-church pastor Rick Warren’s son has ripped open my Dinah-wound. His son at 27 years old made the ultimate decision to take his own life after dealing with depression for many, many years. My heart aches for the family because I know the pain and depth of their sorrow. My sister was 27 years old too…almost done with college…and was the happiest I had seen her in a long time.

I love God and I have a great relationship with him. But I do not love the church. In fact, I have so much hurt over the church that there are some places I cannot even go. My question is…when is the church gonna put down their ridiculous mask’s and start doing something? The church has lost it’s practical side and has stopped extending Jesus’ hands and started extending promises of prayers. Prayers are great…but they don’t cut it. Jesus got his hands dirty and touched prostitutes and lepers and mentally ill and depressed people. Who are we reaching out and touching? Bible studies and care groups and home groups only reach out to each other. When are our hands going to open from our little circles of “groups” and reach out to the orphans, the prostitutes, the widows, the hopeless?

When someone is struggling with thoughts of suicide, promises of prayer and intercession are almost laughable! They need more than that. We have people sitting in the pews that are literally screaming for help and you can see it in there eyes! LOOK at them. Don’t look away…look at people in the eyes and you will see the pain. Where is the church? I don’t know the answers, but I do know that something needs to be done to reach out to the lost a little bit better. We need to show more love, instead of judgment. We need to extend grace, instead of gossiping about someone’s shortcomings.

My sister was shunned by her church and her workplace because she went through a divorce. What kind of love is that? I just can’t keep quiet about this lack of grace and love the church has taken on. When will we start to see people again, instead of their failures? When will we start to get dirty again, wrap ourselves in each other’s life mess, instead of avoiding people with too much drama? Why do we think that getting messing in love is any different than what Jesus did? Weren’t His words something like this…

“He who is without sin may cast the first stone.”

I need Jesus friends. I’ve wasted my time with fake friends who run when life gets dirty. What a waste of time! Life is about getting through the crap together.

We, desperately, need help in today’s world. Where is the church?

Why by Rascal Flatts (listen to it on youtube here)

It must’ve been in a place so dark  you couldn’t feel the light
Reachin’ for you through that stormy  cloud
Now here we are  gathered in our little hometown
This can’t be the  way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh, why? That’s what I keep askin’
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you’d leave the stage in the middle of a  song

Now in my mind I keep you  frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin’ third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage, you shined just like  the sun
Oh, why? That’s what I  keep askin
‘And was there anything  I could have said or done?

Oh, I  had no clue you were masking
A  troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong
And why you’d leave the stage in the middle of a  song

Now the oak trees are  swayin’ in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain’t that bad a place

Oh, why? There’s no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn’t worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you’re gone, and we  cried
‘Cause it’s not like you  to walk away in the middle of a song
Your  beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song

My sister. My beautiful Maid of Honor. Actually, it was my honor to have her as a sister.
My sister. My beautiful Maid of Honor. Actually, it was my honor to have her as a sister.

I am Not Perfect but I am Enough

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I love being a public blogger and having an active Facebook page. I love interacting with all of you! However, I understand that it may come off like I’m perfect. It’s easy for me to hide the mess on social media. So, let me just get this off my chest…I AM NOT PERFECT. In fact, I am nowhere near perfect. Yes, I make delicious meals for my family and snap pictures of them for all of you to see. Yes, I snap pictures of me and my kids playing together. Yes, I profess my love for my husband. One big, happy family, huh?

I am not perfect…

I clean my house once a week. I mop once a month. My house is dirty and there is dog hair everywhere. There is dried snot on the couch from one of the kids wiping their nose on it and boogers on the wall next to my daughter’s bed. Let’s not even discuss my son’s high chair. I am not perfect.

I rarely fold my family’s clothes. I let it pile up over several weeks and, eventually, my husband folds them. I feel guilty watching him because that’s “my job” as a mother and wife.

I yell at my kids. I get frustrated and scream. My 4-year-old looks at me like I’m the devil. I feel so un-perfect.

I put the TV on in the morning so I can enjoy my morning coffee. I sit down on the couch to drink it and baby brother brings me a book. I set it down and tell him “later”. I want to be alone in my coffee. Then I look at him trying to read it by himself and I feel it again…GUILT. 

I drive-thru Chic-Fil-A, at least, once a week. ::GASP:: This is so not Paleo and I am such a bad mom for not having every, single meal planned out and perfected in health.

I set our family budget and then blow it. When I’m questioned about it I throw rapid fire because this is, once again, “my job” being questioned. “How dare you? Why don’t you try to make a budget and pay all the bills and then tell me how easy that is?!” I’m so defensive.

I have taken my kids to church just for the “free” childcare. This is so not perfect. God forgive me.

I let the kids run free in the house so that I can have “ME” time in the bathtub. When they ask to get in, I tell them it’s “mommy-time” and to let me have a few minutes by MYSELF. I get frustrated when they throw ponies and cars and choo-choos in the bathtub to get my attention.

I forget to feed my dogs some days.

I forget to feed myself.

I forget to feed my husband dinner when he get’s home from work late after the kids are already in bed. I’m sitting on the couch when he walks in…my “job” is over.

I forget to call my parents back.

I am too tired to have any kind of intimacy with my husband after “dealing” with my kids all day.

I need more “me-time”. I need more clothes. I need more fun with girlfriends. I need…I need…I need.

I need a life. I’m *just* a stay-at-home mom.

I feel overwhelmed with mommy guilt. I feel like a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad friend…a bad daughter.

But, you know what?

BUT I am enough…

I am enough for my kids. They don’t see the dirty floors. They won’t remember wearing clean or dirty clothes. They remember all the new places I took them in the mornings, instead of cleaning. I am enough. I clean enough.

I am not perfect. But I am more than enough for my kids. They adore me. They cling to me like hemorrhoids. They love me. They love me because I do read to them. And it’s ok for me to have my coffee in the morning, but it’s also ok for my son to sit on my lap while I drink my coffee. I am not perfect…but, boy, can I multi-task. I can drink my coffee, read a book, hold my son, and flip the pages without spilling my precious coffee. I am awesome.

I am enough for my family. I provide the healthiest food I can and I don’t always get it right. I fail…I fail A LOT. But, I am enough. They are healthy. I am healthy. We are blessed to have more than enough food at our fingertips. God is enough for us.

I am enough for my husband. I love him more than enough. I am defensive because I want to be perfect for him. I am jealous because I feel so un-perfect. But, my husband adores me. I am enough for him and he is enough for me.

I am enough for myself. I don’t have to live up to Pinterest. I don’t have to make cute napkins. I don’t have to have every holiday planned out with crafts and gifts and food and themes and new traditions. I am enough.

It’s not about me. It’s not about you.

YOU are enough. So, put down that mommy guilt and stop trying to live up to YOUR expectations. Being a mother is dirty…it’s gross…you catch vomit from your sick kids and poop from potty-training toddlers with your BARE hands. You cut 50 finger nails without cutting a one, and if you do, you know how to kiss it perfectly until the pain stops. You make cheap cake when you can’t afford to buy a “nice” one. You make forts out of pillows, fairy houses out of sticks. You decorate your walls with the writings of your kids…markings that remind you that these moments with them is short and fleeting. You know secret tickle spots and scars and dimples. You know how to tie your husbands tie and tie your little superhero’s cape. You can breastfeed your baby while walking through Target, pushing a cart, and trying on new clothes that may not fit like they used to. You can drive your car, hand your baby her binky, put on makeup, and sing songs with your kids ALL AT THE SAME TIME. You say words that heal…that smile…that bring a little bit more love into this changing world.

My Superhero!
My Superhero!

You make life happen!

You make everyday an adventure for your family. You are the glue.

You are beautiful to the bones. You are beautiful with your stretch marks, cellulite, and makeup-less face.

You make love happen.

YOU BIRTH LOVE and then feed it from your breasts.

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Source: https://amandagreavette.blogspot.ca/p/paintings.html

You nurture. You nourish. You give the best and provide the best you can.

You pour out your life for your children. You kiss them perfectly and know how to sooth the deepest of pains.

You are spectacular.

You are enough.

You are more than enough.