• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

The Paleo Mama

Homegrown and Handmade

  • About
  • Blog
    • Podcast
  • Meal Plans
  • Essential Oils
  • Our Farm
    • Great Pyrenees Puppies
    • Goats
      • Goats for Sale
      • Goat Sales Policy
      • Nigerian Dwarf Bucks
        • Ranchocabra Lunar Eclipse

Sh*t Paleo Kids Say

April 30, 2013 by Jackie Ritz 18 Comments

Sh*t Paleo Kids Say
  • Share
  • Pin
  • Tweet
  • Email

Kids really do say the funniest things! Well, add Paleo to that and a little bit of crunchy and you got your self a hilarious mess!

 

Stealing my Kombucha!

 

kombucha4

Here are a few things I have heard (and innocent bystanders) my kids say that make me literally LOL:

1. “Can I have my seaweed chips, MOM?”

2. “Mom, can you stop hogging all the KUMbucha and share?”

3. “Can I have some olives?”

4. “Mom, can you give me some coconut water?”

5. “My brother was born in a bathtub.”

6. “Can you wear me this time and not Frankie? I’m tired.”

7. “We drink milk from the hairy coconut.”

8. “My mom puts vinegar in my hair.”

9. “Why do we come to McDonalds to just play and not eat?”

10. “Mom, this milk is GROSS.”

“Oh honey, that is baby milk.” (pumped breastmilk)

11. “Mommy, I didn’t have my honey today yet.”

12. “Stop putting garlic in my ears”

13.  “Stop putting onions beside my bed.”

14. “Can I have my vitamin d drops?”

15. “Can we have brussel sprouts tonight?”

16. “Why is he eating French fries and I have fruit?”

17. “Mom, there’s a diaper in the toilet. I need to go potty. Can you wash this diaper?”

18. “There’s a dryer ball in my pile of clothes.”

19. “There’s a soap nut in my pile of clothes.”

20. “Mom, can I have some more bacon?”

21. “Can I have some more bone broth?”

22. “Can I have some more almond butter on my spoon?”

23. “Why are you putting coconut oil in your hair?”

24. Why are you putting coconut oil on my toothbrush?”

25. “Why are you putting coconut oil on my butt?”

26. “Why are you putting coconut oil in my smoothie?”

27. “Daddy got poop in his eye when he was using the diaper sprayer!”

28. “Papa gave me lots of candy today. Am I in trouble?”

29. “Can I hold those chicken feet before you throw them in the soup?”

30. “Why do people call me weird?”

 

What do your Paleo kids say that you find funny?

 

Did you enjoy this post? Share it with your friends!

  • Share
  • Pin
  • Tweet
  • Email

Filed Under: Paleo Baby, Paleo Toddler, Thoughts Tagged With: humor, kids say the darndest thigns, paleo, primal, sh*t kids say

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Orleatha (AKA Mrs. Paleo) says

    April 30, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    “BOOOOOOOO” as we drive past fast-food places
    “Is this organic?”
    [while eyeing someone else’s cart in the grocery store] “Mom THATS not a good food choice!”

    Thanks for today’s laugh 🙂

    Reply
    • peri says

      May 1, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      omg, that is what i hear most…” that is not a healthy cart, Mom”….” he/she eats too much sugar”, “what kinda diaper do you want Mom, the washers or throw aways?” ( i use cloth at home, bleach free throwaways when we are out)!!!! Love that my kids are crunchy granola Paleo kids!!!

      Reply
  2. Sylvie- The Simple Paleo Life says

    April 30, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    That is awesome! Sounds like MY house!!

    Sylvie
    http://www.thesimplepaleolife.com
    facebook.com/thesimplepaleolife

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth says

    April 30, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    Funny! Last night we were at the pool, and my newly 7 yo came swimming up to me and said, “Mommy, my friend says she was born in a bathtub too!” LOL I guess she was going around telling other kids, since we had recently re-told her homebirth story. I asked the girls mom, who said that nope the other kid was NOT born in a bathtub. I told the mom that mine really was and she wanted to know was it on purpose or by accident. 😉

    Reply
  4. Crunchy Catholic Mom says

    April 30, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Probably my favorite of all time so far is “But Mommy… Bacon **IS** a vegetable!”. I about died laughing at that one and had to write it in his baby book.

    Another really good one he was singing in the car yesterday was “Just say no to GMO’s. Just say yes to PALEO!”

    Reply
  5. Jess @ Crunchy Hot Mama says

    April 30, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    HAHAHAHA!!! Love these 🙂 If I made a list, I would add: ‘Mom, can we have sardines for breakfast!?’ Love these paleo/crunchy kids!

    Reply
  6. Ann Mapes says

    May 1, 2013 at 10:48 am

    Feed them well, but teach them that swear words are acceptable forms of English Language? How unfortunate to have missed the mark on that one.

    Reply
    • The Paleo Mama says

      May 1, 2013 at 12:08 pm

      LOL!!! Apparently you don’t understand the inside joke! This is a popular thing going around right now…Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say…Sh*t Crunchy Dads say…I don’t swear around my kids. My kids are 4 and 1 and don’t read my blog so I can say what I want to say.

      Reply
      • Rachel M says

        May 3, 2013 at 2:30 pm

        Well said, Paleo Mama :]

        Reply
  7. Kathy Uccello says

    May 1, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Give me more of that good healthy bacon! (5 year old)

    My 1 year old can’t ask for sardines for breakfast, but she has gotten the box, shaken it emphatically at me and actually eaten sardines for breakfast.

    Reply
  8. Leanna says

    May 1, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    My kids crack me up constantly, but it makes me realize that they do listen, and absorb what I say!

    Recently my 7 year old walked up to a woman in target and asked her why she was going to buy all that “non-food”? The woman was so confused and I was laughing.

    Yesterday my daughter and I were picking up seafood for dinner and she asked for mussels (her favorite). They only had 1.5 lbs of live mussels left. My daughter says… That’s not enough, I can eat 4 lbs by myself! Give me crawfish and shrimp too, please!

    The woman at the store looked at me as if it ask if she was serious. I nodded my head and smiled. Then the woman says, we’ll that’s not something I hear often!

    http://www.bedrockeats.com

    Reply
  9. Julie says

    May 1, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    “Cow milk is not good for our tummies/brains”

    “Mommy!! Baby John needs more breast milk!!”

    “More almond milk, please”

    As we go through the cashier line which is clustered with candy or what not, my oldest (5) asks me, “Mommy, is that junk?” to nearly every thing he sees. I nod and say, “Yep, that’s junk”, “that’s junk, too”

    Also, my kids like to ask me what’s “Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down” for food choices.

    Reply
  10. Carol Archambeault says

    May 1, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    I enjoyed these a lot!

    Reply
  11. Monica says

    May 7, 2013 at 9:45 am

    Hahaha, that is an amazing post! Too funny!

    Reply
  12. Andrea says

    May 19, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    my brother was born in a bathtub! that’s what my kids say!

    Reply
  13. Sabrina says

    May 23, 2013 at 8:22 am

    To funny. My kid says some of those also especially the olives. He would die for olives.
    He also says loud enough for the entire store to hear him, ” Does that have wheat,?YUCK that will kill you!” He is 5 and I nearly died laughing. Looking at other peoples cart “That food will make you sick.”
    ” why do you run without shoes?” “Why are we eating bones? ( marrow inside the bones) “Can I have a smoothie.” “Can I have (insert any kind of fruit here)?” ” Can I have salad for lunch?”
    He may be brainwashed a little….LOL

    Reply
  14. Andrea R says

    December 15, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    The most common paleo-kid comment in my house comes before every meal with meat:
    “Is this meat properly raised?”

    Reply
  15. Trish says

    January 21, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    My goodness…la dee dah…LOL So glad I am not perfect. 😉

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • YouTube

Hi, I'm Jackie Ritz and welcome to The Paleo Mama! I'm a published author, certified herbalist, and voracious researcher of natural medicine and nutrition. I'm glad you're here and I hope you stick around for awhile!

Recent Posts

  • When God Says Pause: Why I Took a 5-Year Break from My Online Business
  • How to Quit Facebook but Keep Your Business Profile
  • Leaving the City for the Country
  • Natural Way to Heart Health

MEAL PLANS

Biblically clean meal plans that are for those love to cook real food

Read More

Footer

Our Blog

The Paleo Mama blog provides simple answers for healthier families through research, tutorials, recipes, and simple remedies for daily needs!

  • Health
  • Essential Oils
  • Recipes
  • Remedies
  • Natural Living
  • Meal Plans

Stick around!

You’ll get instant access to a library of natural remedies and real, paleo food, including our ebooks and free guides we send out.

  • Home
  • Disclosure/Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Advertise
  • Contact Me

Copyright © 2025 · Wellness Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in