The Paleo Mama

Homegrown and Handmade

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Paleo Birthday Cupcakes

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My 3 year old is turning 4 and requested cupcakes to share with some friends. Awww, how sweet, right?!?!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!! This Paleo mama sucks at Paleo baked goods. So, I’m smiling at my adorable, little princess and thinking, “CRAP…how in the world am I going to make cupcakes?” Aha! I have almond flour and I’m pretty good with it.

Wait, does no peanuts mean no almonds? Because, if we get technical, a peanut is a legume so if you are allergic to peanuts then you probably aren’t allergic to almonds…right? I wonder…and wonder…and reach out to my Facebook fans for help.

The winning verdict: use coconut flour and don’t play with almond fire! Which by the way is so contradictory.  So, let me get this right: you can’t bring nuts to school because someone in the class is allergic to it, but you can bring gluten-laden garbage? Not fair!

Anyways, I went with a vanilla cupcake, a chocolate ganache frosting, and pink sprinkles! The only thing not Paleo was the pink sprinkles! I think I did pretty darn good! And….her little friends gobbled it up!!!

Here’s the recipes that I used…

Very Vanilla Cupcakes (using coconut flour):

Cupcake Ingredients (makes 8 cupcakes):

(click here to view the recipe)

My opinion: I was SHOCKED how moist and delicious these cupcakes are. I was debating about using another recipe that didn’t have any oil but I remember how coconut oil just sucks up moisture and I wanted to make sure the cupcakes were moist. This recipe is a KEEPER!

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Chocolate Ganache Frosting

This ganache is delicious and you can sub coconut milk for the heavy cream. I did that the last time I made it. And the author of this recipe now has a AWESOME cookbook available with TONS of recipes!

Ganache Recipe:

(click here to be taken to the recipe)

…and all this I did for my little princess ON MY BIRTHDAY! Yes, today is my birthday. However, I do get to pick out where we are going to eat for lunch. I say Vinne Van Go Go’s Pizza and some beer (***runs and hides***)!!!

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I’m NOT Crunchy…I’m CHEAP and LAZY!!!

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I am not sure what I don’t like about the label of being “crunchy.” If you are not sure what this means or have never heard it, let me enlighten you with my ever-so, trustworthy source, Urban Dictionary.

Crunchy Mama (defined): “Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions medical authority; tends to be VEGETARIAN (hhahahaha) and/or prepares all-organic foods.”

I love the vegetarian part! Ok, let’s break this down…

“Mother who supports homebirth.”

I absolutely support a woman’s right to choose where she would like to have her baby. I almost had a homebirth with my son! I was 9 centimeters when I got to the Birth Center. Homebirth’s are becoming more popular because of the way that hospital births are run. Unfortunately, hospital births are a business. Please watch, “The Business of Being Born.” Total eye-opener. I had a hospital birth with my daughter. My water broke at home. I went to the hospital an hour later. I was forced to stay in my bed so my vagina wouldn’t become contaminated. In my bed, I sat and sat…and nothing happened, so I was hooked up to Pitocin. Labor started and it hurt. Pitocin contractions are freakin painful! I asked for my epidural. I pushed and had my baby, my beautiful Arianna. I was numb for hours and hours. She wouldn’t latch on and they washed off her precious vernix without asking me.

Now with my son, TOTAL different experience. If you want to read his birth story here, it will save me all the beautiful details. But, his birth was complete opposite. I hated my birth experience with my daughter so I looked for an alternative, and for us it was a incredible waterbirth at a nearby Birth Center. I didn’t even know I was in labor!!! The contractions felt so different than my Pitocin contractions!

I support women’s right to choose where to give birth and I, fully, support and understand the rising “trend” of homebirth.

birth

“A mother who breastfeeds.”

I don’t understand how, if you are human, you CAN’T support breastfeeding. Other than all the health benefits, a good reason to breastfeed is because it’s CHEAP! Holy crap, formula is expensive! And my other favorite reason is because I’M LAZY! How hard is it to whip out a boob?

I know breastfeeding comes with it’s challenges, trust me, I had my share! My daughter was breastfed and my son was, also, breastfed. However, my son was nursed by many, many mothers. When my son was 2 months old, my younger sister passed away. The grief, shock, and trauma from her death caused my supply to tap out. I posted a plea of help to other mother’s…and with goosebumps on my body right now, I am so incredibly grateful to all those mommie’s out there who came to our rescue. I received coolers and coolers of milk from the most unselfish and generous people in the world. I had to buy a new deep freezer! I even received 2 donations from 2 seperate mother’s who had lost their baby, yet wanted their milk to nourish another baby. I’m telling you folks, the generosity of mother’s is amazing! You can read more about our milk-sharing experience here.

milkMy son at 6 months old with milk that was donated from a special mommy who lost her baby girl.

“A mother who supports babywearing.”

I LOVE baby-wearing! I love the Moby Wrap for the 0-3 month age and the ERGObaby carrier for the 3 month and above age. They are LIFESAVERS!!! My baby’s, like all baby’s, loved and demanded to be held. It’s natural. We are to hold our young. That is what they need and thrive on. I hear it all the time, “My baby just want’s to be held,”…”she won’t let me put her down,”…”he cries when I put him in the swing.” Well, guess what…your baby is NORMAL! I baby-wear because I hate the sound of my baby crying. I babywear because it’s easier. I babywear because I don’t have to try to quietly set my son down and escape out the room. I babywear because I’m cheap and I don’t want to buy a swing, a bouncer, a new stroller, a floor mat, a hanging hammock…my God, what else is there! All those baby products and your baby just wants YOU…you’re warmth, your body next to theirs, your heartbeat, your breath on their skin. They want YOU.

My 3 year old in the Ergo with me (before I lost 50lbs)
My 3 year old in the Ergo with me (before I lost 50lbs)

“A mother who supports cloth-diapering.”

OMG, I LOVE cloth diapering! And no, I don’t love it cause it’s environmentally friendly and I’m saving thousands of pounds of poop-soaked diapers from fermenting in a land-fill…although that is a plus. I love cloth-diapering cause IT’S FREAKIN CHEAP!!! I have, literally, spent about $50 on my son’s diapers! FIFTY DOLLARS!!! My son is 18 months old and we have saved thousands and thousands of dollars on wasted diapers. I spent about $300 on my daughter’s diapers, which then got passed down to my son. And let me tell you something, he is so cute in a PINK diaper! Yes, I’m cheap, folks, so that is why I cloth diaper.

pink

“A mother who supports co-sleeping.”

This one fits right in with the lazy part. Who want’s to get up and go to another room, feed their baby, and then go back into another room again? Whew! It’s annoying and tiring. Just let your baby sleep in between you. We had this fabulous thing that our kids slept in called a SnuggleNest. It was awesome! It is a little bed that you can put the baby in and it has sides to protect you from rolling over on to them. I know that is a concern wtih a lot of people who won’t co-sleep, but the SnuggleNest makes co-sleeping a very safe option! Plus, there are so many benefits to co-sleeping. And, no, you don’t have to co-sleep forever! We only co-slept till our kids were around 6-9 months old.

All this to say that the bottom line is…I’m cheap and I’m lazy! But you can call me crunchy if you want!

My Top 10 Paleo Necessities

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When I first started eating Paleo, I spent A TON of money! Let’s face it, it costs a bit of pocket change to get a Paleo pantry stocked…especially when you are not used to cooking whole, unprocessed foods. In walks Amazon.com…my lifesaver and money saver.

If you haven’t started shopping on Amazon, then you need to. They have some ridiculous deals and shipping is always so fast. When we started Paleo, we signed up for Amazon Prime, which is an annual fee of $79. Wait, wait, don’t get scared away. This includes free 2-day shipping for the WHOLE year, accessibility to Prime Instant Videos which has lots of TV shows and movies to choose from, and the Kindle Lending Library with thousands of books to choose from!

They also have Amazon Mom which gives you 20% off diapers and wipes and, also, 2-day shipping on Prime items. Amazon Mom also has a free trial you can do to test out the waters and see how you like it. You don’t have to be a mom to do it either!

Amazon Student is another great deal! You get a free 6-month Prime trial if you have a valid student email address.

All this to say, I love Amazon! And if you are eating Paleo, some of the items that you find you might need, are so expensive in the grocery store. You can find them on Amazon for a fraction of the cost. Here are some of my favorites…

1) Coconut Oil

You will use coconut oil a lot! Coconut oil replaces all other vegetable oils you may have used before going Paleo. Coconut oil can cook at a higher temperature than any other oil, so it’s a good choice to have! The benefits of coconut oil are mainly from the nutrient value of medium chain fatty acids (MCFAs). The best comparison in nature as to the percentage of MCFAs being consumed in a diet is human breast milk!

2) Coconut Chips

These are delicious! You can snack on them raw, throw them in baked, Paleo goods or make caramelized coconut chips!

Recipes I love: Caramelized Coconut Chips, Paleo Breakfast Cookies, and Morning Glory Muffins

3) Coconut Milk

It’s really, REALLY hard to find coconut milk that doesn’t have any added ingredients, however Natural Value coconut milk only has water and coconut! It’s a great deal off Amazon because in the stores it’s nearly $4 a can! On Amazon you can get 12 cans for $30!

Recipes I love: Ground Beef Stroganoff, Pumpkin Pie in a Cup, and Whipped Coconut Cream

4) Olive Oil

Zoe olive oil is my absolute favorite olive oil. The taste and flavor of it is amazing. It’s great to have both coconut and olive oil on hand in a Paleo kitchen. Coconut oil withstands hotter temperatures better than olive oil, but olive oil is great for marinades, homemade mayonnaise, and salad dressings.

Recipes I love: Homemade Mayo and Marinated Balsamic Chicken

5) Sweetleaf Liquid Stevia

Stevia saved my life when I was giving up the flavored creamers to put in my coffee. My favorite kind is the English Toffee from Sweetleaf. Stevia comes from a plant and is 100% natural. Beware: lots of the store-bought stevia brands are not 100% stevia. Sweetleaf and Kal are reputable brands that are 100% stevia.

6) Almond Butter

Peanut Butter is a no-no if going Paleo because, guess what, peanuts are a legume, not a nut! Crazy, eh? I was surprised too. We really like Barney Butter Smooth Almond Butter , however it does have some evaporated cane juice in it. If you are looking for something with JUST almonds then Maranatha Natural Almond Butter is awesome…just a little on the expensive side.

Recipes I love: The Easiest Bread Ever, Zucchini Brownies, and Paleo Breakfast Cookies

7) Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips

We love these chocolate chips by Enjoy Life. They are the only ones I have found that are gluten, dairy, nut, and SOY free! They are so good and we use them in lots of recipes. The kids love them too and I feel good about letting them snack on them. They are around $3.50 each on Amazon which is an AWESOME deal. In the stores they are around $6 each…yikes!

Recipes I love: Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chunky Monkey Muffins, and Zucchini Brownies

8) Coconut Sugar

Coconut sugar is a great substitution for regular sugar, and even, brown sugar. It comes from coconut tree sap and is one of the lowest glycemic index sweeteners on the market. I have made caramelized onions using coconut sugar and they come out delish!

Recipes I love: 2-Minute Paleo Mug Brownie, Caramelized Onions, and Whipped Coconut Cream

9) Fruit Leather

If you follow my Pinterest page, I post pictures of my daughter’s lunches to help give my followers some ideas for sending whole, unprocessed lunches. You might see fruit leather mentioned in there from time-to-time. They are so good and are 100% fruit. I get these for super cheap off Amazon and my kids, even I, love them! They love it when I cookie-cut them into cute little shapes and hearts.

10) Almond Flour

Almond flour is my favorite alternative to white flour. I LOVE it! You can do so much with it and it Honeyville’s Blanched Almond Flour is very light and fluffy.

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These are 10 staples in our house. A lot of the items have a “subscribe & save” option on Amazon, which makes the cost come down even more.

And once you gather all your kitchen pantry essentials, here is a list of my favorite Paleo cookbooks to get you on your way:

1)Well Fed: Paleo Recipes for People Who Love to Eat

2)Make it Paleo: Over 200 Grain Free Recipes For Any Occasion

3) Paleo Comfort Foods: Homestyle Cooking for a Gluten-Free Kitchen

 

Chocolate Bacon Smoothie

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Oh YES I DID!!! I had an epiphany today. I was drinking a smoothie and eating a few pieces of bacon, and I was like, “WOAH,”…I need to put this sh*t together.” I don’t usually swear, but this is the first thing that came to my mind.

So, here is what I came up with. Don’t knock it till you try it. I thought chocolate-covered-bacon pieces was nasty until I tried it, and now I’m a believer. That salty, savori-ness mixed with that sweet, chocolate….mmmmmmmmmmm!

If you still are repulsed by the though, make it for your man for Valentine’s Day and steal a sip! 🙂

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Ingredients:

1 cup of coconut milk

1TB of cocoa powder

1TB of honey or maple syrup

1 banana

4 strips of cooked regular bacon (or 2 strips of thick bacon)

6-9 ice cubes

Directions:

It’s so difficult. Throw everything in a blender and blend till smooth! Eat with bacon on the side!

The Paleo Mama’s Guide to Dining Out Paleo-style

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dining out

When I started to eat Paleo, I was overwhelmed with where to eat, what to eat, and how to order. In fact, I don’t think we ate out much in the beginning because I didn’t want to stray from our diet. However, as time went on and mommy needed a break from cooking, we ventured out into the world of American chain restaurants and I learned A LOT about food. I remember asking so many questions that the waiter usually had to go ask the cook.

Now, I am easier on myself. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…I am not 100% Paleo. I am more like 85% Paleo. The other 15% is covered with lots and lots of grace and the occasional pizza. Dining out seems hard in the Paleo world…but it doesn’t have to be.

Here’s my quick guide on what to eat and where to eat.  So GET OUT, stop stressing, and make the best choice you can. Leave room for grace 🙂

One thing restaurants confuse very often is REAL butter and fake butter. Make sure when you are ordering or eating that you ask for REAL butter. Also, most vegetables are cooked in vegetable oils, which is a no-no eating Paleo. Look for steamed options or request for your food to be cooked in olive oil. Avoid any dishes that have gravy. Gravy is loaded with flour. And when ordering dressings, remember that most are loaded with high fructose corn syrup, so ask for OLIVE oil and vinegar. Please use the word olive. They have, and will bring you out a bottle of canola oil and vinegar.

Always ask for NO SEASONING SALT in restaurants, wherever you go. MSG is added to this, as is sugar.

Also, I’ve learned that steakhouses are the BEST choice. However, I know I get tired of eating at the same places so I wanted to include other restaurants that offer good alternatives.

1) TGI Fridays – Fridays is actually very Paleo-friendly! It is one of the few restaurants where you get to pick your two sides.

Best Salad: The Grilled Chicken Cobb salad is great and you can request no cheese and ask for olive oil and vinegar for dressing.

Best Beef: The “Premium Black Angus Steaks” are great and a good Paleo choice.  Avoid the Jack Daniel dishes if you want to avoid dairy and any other questionable sauces. The burgers are also questionable in my option. Friday’s doesn’t disclose their gluten-free menu, so the burgers “may” have white flour in them. However, you feel like indulging and want a burger, get it…just ask for extra lettuce and eat it between two lettuce leaves.

Best Chicken: can’t recommend one since they are all smothered in sauce and cheese

2) Outback – Another great Paleo-friendly restaurant! Most steakhouses, for that matter, are! With all orders, ask for vegetables as a side or a baked potato.

Best Salad: The Aussie Cobb Salad, California Chicken Salad, Steakhouse Salad are all great. Just make sure you request only grilled chicken and no croutons.

Best Beef: These steaks (Outback Special, Victoria’s Filet, NY Strip, Ribeye, and Porterhouse) are a great choice and GF according to their menu so you don’t have to worry about weird sauces! The sirloin is the leanest cut. Also, Outback, burgers are 100% beef! So, order that burger if you want, just avoid the bread! Aussie fries come with the burgers so just request a vegetable substitute or indulge in a baked potato.

Best Chicken: Grilled Chicken on the Barbie (ask for them to put their BBQ sauce on the side)

Best Seafood: Norwegian Salmon or Simply Grilled Mahi

3) Applebees – their menu is pretty diverse. Obviously avoid anything that has chips, bread, pasta or is fried.

Best Salad: Grilled Shrimp ‘N Spinach Salad (ask for olive oil and vinegar as a dressing)

Best Beef: The Ribeye and NY Strip are the only two steaks that aren’t cooked in soybean oil.

Best Chicken:  The Chipotle Lime Chicken is the only chicken dish that doesn’t contain dairy. Ask for a salad substitute for the rice and beans that comes with it.

Best Seafood: Grilled Jalapeno-Lime Shrimp or Garlic Herb Salmon

4) Cracker Barrel: Breakfast is always a great option when eating out! Eggs, bacon, ham, sausage is all good Paleo-options.

Best Salad: Grilled Chicken N’ Fresh Vegetable Salad (just hold the corn relish and order olive oil and vinegar for a dressing)

Best Beef: 10oz Rib Eye Steak or the Grilled 8oz Sirloin Steak. The Hamburger Steak is also a great option.

Best Chicken: Grilled Chicken Tenderloins (make sure you specify you want them grilled)

Best Seafood: Grilled Rainbow Trout or the Grilled Catfish

5) P.F. Chang’s – I love P.F. Chang’s and they have lots of great options!

Best Starter: Chang’s Chicken Lettuce Wraps or Egg Drop Soup

Best Beef: none I can recommend

Best Chicken: Quite a few chicken dishes are listed on their gluten-free menu: Moo Goo Gai Pan, Ginger Chicken with Broccoli, Philip’s Better Lemon Chicken, Chang’s Spicy Chicken,  and Dali Chicken. I should note that just because they are on the gluten-free menu, does not mean they are 100% Paleo. They are however a much better choice.

Best Seafood: Shrimp with Lobster Sauce, Chang’s Lemon Scallops, Catonese Shrimp or Scallops, and Wild Alaskan Salmon Steamed with Ginger

6) Red Lobster

Best Salad: Cobb Salad or Bar Harbor Salad with your choice of meat and without croutons. Ask for olive oil and vinegar dressing.

Best Beef: Center-Cut NY Strip Steak -ask for your steak to be broiled without marinades or sauces

Best Chicken: most their chicken meals have sauces. You may request to have a broiled chicken without a sauce or marinade

Best Seafood: North Pacific King Crab Legs, Chilled Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail, Snow Crab Legs, and Live Maine Lobster – ask for all these dishes to be steamed and served with melted butter (make sure it’s real butter)

7) Chili’s

Best Salad: Dinner House Salad – ask for no croutons and olive oil and vinegar dressing

Best Beef: Cajun Ribeye, Guiltless Carne Asada Steak, Flame Grilled Ribeye, or the Classic Sirloin – ask for no savory steak butter as this contains gluten. If you want a burger, the Bacon Burger or the Old time Burger (ask for no bun or onion strings) are good choices and listed as being gluten-free.

Best Chicken: none I can recommended

Best Seafood: Guiltless Grilled Salmon or the Salmon with Garlic & Herbs

8) Cheesecake Factory

Best Salad: Cobb Salad, Herb-Crusted Salmon, or any of their Weight Management Salads. Make sure you ask for no crispy noodles, beans, corn, or cheese on them. Also order olive oil and vinegar dressing.

Best Beef: Grilled Rib-Eye Steak and Filet Mignon are good steak choices. You will need to ask for them to hold the onion rings andorder a salad or other veggie side dish.

Best Chicken: Weight Management Grilled Chicken or Grilled Chicken Medallions. Ask for no white rice but extra veggies instead.

Best Seafood: Fresh Grilled Salmon or Fresh Grilled Mahi Mahi

9) Jimmy John’s – this is one of my favorite places to eat out! Get the sandwich you want, avoiding cheese if you wish, and any other questionable sauces and have them make it “Unwich” style. They wrap the sandwich all up in a lettuce wrap and it’s still oh-so delish!

10) Moes & Chipotle – this is another place I love eating at. Tell them you want a burrito bowl and just pile on the meat, veggies, guacamole, and salsa! Chipotle also advertises that their meat is hormone free!

…seriously…stop stressing. Life is short.

Albino Broccoli Soup

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We love albino broccoli in this house! There are so many things you can do with it! Broccoli’s little brother, cauliflower, is by far the most versatile vegetable that you can have in your house! You can make pizza crust, rice, mashed “potatoes” and so much more! Tonight I made my soup!

This is by far MY FAVORITE soup ever! I love this soup with meatballs. Tonight I am trying these Merguez meatballs from The Clothes Make the Girl, author of the amazing Well Fed cookbook. I usually make them with Arabic meatballs, which is a little different than the Merguez Meatballs.

I promise, the cauliflower tastes amazing in this recipe! It’s even more delicious if you use your own homemade bone stock! You can read my recipe for making stock here!

Albino Broccoli Soup

2 heads of cauliflower or 3 frozen bags, broken in florets

3 medium onions, diced

5 cloves of garlic

1/4 cup butter or Grassfed Organic Ghee 7.8 Oz

3 cups of stock (I prefer my homemade chicken stock, but you can use beef stock too)

2 teaspoons of salt

1/4 teaspoon of pepper

Directions:

Steam or boil cauliflower until tender. Drain and set aside.

Saute the onions and garlic in a pot over medium heat until tender.

Add cauliflower and stock to the pot. Mash with a potato masher or use a stick blender to puree the mixture to a consistency you prefer. I like mine a little chunky. If you don’t have a stick blender then you should use a blender to puree it.

Add salt and pepper. Taste and adjust seasonings.

If primal, serve with a dollop of sour cream!