The Paleo Mama

Homegrown and Handmade

milksharing

What Does 125 Gallons of Donated Breast Milk Look Like?

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donated breastmilk

A friend asked me yesterday what my most popular, or most viewed post was. I shared with her THIS POST. It was written about a little under 2 years ago during a very challenging time. I re-read it and was in tears. Every emotion came back to me and I remembered every terrible detail of that period in my life.

I’ve shared with you all that I lost my younger sister 2 years ago to suicide. My son was a newborn at the time, well, he was 2 months old, and I was breastfeeding him. He actually was so easy to breastfeed compared to my daughter. I had horrible issues with my daughter, including her completely taking a chunk of my nipple off. And, yes, stubborn me, I nursed right through it all. I was super-mama. I could nurse with a missing nipple…even though I, secretly, despised every whimper or cry my daughter made to nurse when she was hungry.

My son was a completely different story. I was so happy that we had such a good nursing relationship from the start. I guess this is how it usually is with your second child. However, the day my sister died, my supply immediately tanked. I talk about my experience more in depth in THIS POST. But, I remember sitting on the curb outside my sister’s house 15 minutes after we discovered that she had taken her own life. My son was hungry and I had to feed him. I had to give life in the midst of death….and I couldn’t. I couldn’t.

I will never judge another mom who I see give formula to their baby. I was so ashamed. I felt so guilty. I felt so inadequate as a mother. I drove myself crazy trying to get some milk out of my deflated breasts. I pumped while I was grieving. I took herbal supplements while eating care-meals that were delivered to us. I wore an Supplemental Nursing System in the middle of my sister’s funeral. I tried and I tried and I tried…and I failed. My body was telling me I needed the rest. My body was telling me to focus on myself…on my grief…on my loss. But I could not just let it go. Here I am trying to care for my 2 year old and my newborn baby …but my body was not able to keep up with the high demand that I was giving it.

Embarrassed by what I had to do…I shamefully, purchased baby formula in secret. I put that formula in my Medela bottles so people would think that it was pumped breastmilk. I even wore a nursing cover while feeding my son out of a bottle UNDER THE BLANKET. I was so ashamed.

My healing…

This is what 125 gallons of donated breastmilk looks like…

frankie1

frankie2

Two years later my son is a brilliant, strong, and healthy little boy. I made it. I got through the toughest season of my life. For a short while, I thought he was my curse. How could something so tragic happen when I had a newborn? I was so mad at God for giving me this “burden”. I loved my son so much, but, why? How? How could I celebrate this new life given to me while grieving the death of my sister? We think miracles are flying angels, or healings, or someone someone walking out of a wheelchair. But, I’ve come to realize they aren’t always like that.

Miracles come in the form of plastic baggies and styrofoam coolers and little notes saying that 10 ounces is all I could pump. They come in the form of a stranger handing you a cooler of pumped breast milk and giving you a hug. They come in the form of friends pumping while nursing their babies then giving you their milk. They come in the form a UPS man handing you a regular package, but inside you know that there is 2 months worth of milk for your baby that you weren’t able to produce.

Two years later I have a new appreciation for the community of mothers. They pump and they nurse and they drive 50 miles to give you something that you so desperately need. They don’t ask questions and they don’t ask for anything in return and when you give them flowers to say thank you, they say that they didn’t think twice about it.

My son is thriving today, 2 years later, because of those mothers. You are the reason I got through this. You are the reason I have hope in mankind again. You give birth to your own babies and then you nurse them and pump for mine. Who does that?

This is what 125 gallons of breastmilk looks like…

frankie3

frankie4

This is because of you. Thank you for donating. Thank you to all the mothers who have ever donated to ANYONE. You are amazing. You are the angels that walk this earth. Thank you.

 

 

 

Milky Match Made in Heaven!

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If you read my blog from a few days ago (https://thepaleomama.com/2012/02/14/milksharing-and-homemade-formula/), I talked about how I lost my milk supply when I lost my younger sister. I posted a picture of my little man with some donated breast milk. I shared my story last month on Facebook and the story and picture went Facebook viral. It was shared among many breastfeeding and milksharing sites. Here is my amazing milksharing story that touched me in so many ways. It helped to heal from the loss of my sister.

Frankie with all of her milk!
I cannot express my thanks enough to the mommy who donated all this precious milk to my baby boy. We met through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. Blythe posted a few weeks ago about her baby girl who was born premature. She had pumped for her baby while she was in the NICU but at 5 weeks old her precious little one had passed away. She was left with her milk that was intended for her baby girl and wanted someone else to have it. I saw her posting and in tears I replied and explained how I had recently lost my younger sister and the trauma and grief had caused my complete milk supply to dwindle to nothing. Blythe was my perfect milky match! The death of my sister and her precious baby had brought us together and even from their death…Blythe’s milk was going to bring life and nourishment to my little baby boy! Here is a picture of all her milk. I have no idea how much! Enough to feed him for a while though! So grateful for my milky match made in heaven!

Milksharing and Homemade Formula

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Frankie with a donation of milk from a very special mommy!

This post will be really taboo to many of you but I feel it just needs to be said. My son has been on donor breast milk now for over 4 months! He is thriving! He is nearly 7 months old and close to 20lbs! Not only is he just big, but he is solid. He came out solid! I had him very naturally in a birthing tub without the use of any drugs. He was a much different birth than my pitocin-induced, stuck on my back, starving to death, birth of my oldest 3-year-old daughter. And the reason for going natural with him was, simply, because I wanted to see what real birth felt like. And if I have another baby, I will be having him naturally without drugs. I loved my experience with my son! It was so real and I felt so alive!

Immediately after he was born, I nursed him. He was a champion nurser. He latched on wonderfully. We were in our groove for 2 months. Then the most unexpected happened. My younger sister died. About 30 minutes after she passed away, my son needed to nurse. And I’m not kidding you when I say that I tried to nurse my baby but NOTHING would come out! It was as if my boobs stopped working. Physiologically it makes sense. Your brain is very connected to the function of breastfeeding and stress is one of the worst inhibitors of milk supply.

I was stuck. What would cavewoman have done? She would have given him to another mama in her village to nurse him, but that doesn’t happen anymore…so I thought. So, to the store to buy formula I went…and out the mouth of my baby, every formula I tried, went. He could not stomach commercial formula. As if the grief of losing my sister wasn’t hard enough, I now had a fussy, colicky baby to deal with. Then a miracle happened.

One of my friends gave me some frozen breast milk to try. I thought it was gross at first but then started researching it. It wasn’t gross, in fact it was what many cultures do in my kind of situation. I learned that clean, donated breast milk was the 2nd best option (mother’s breast milk being the first best). I learned how to trust my son’s donors. He began thriving again! In the few short weeks he was on formula he had lost nearly a pound, and he was only 2 months old…not good. I used a few different sites to find donated breast milk and for 4 months he has been solely on it! But lately, our milk stash has run short. I scrambled to find answers on what to do. I was so fearful to put him back on commercial formula. Then someone asked me if I had heard about the Weston A. Price’s homemade formula recipe. I had heard of it since we had followed the practices of Nourishing Traditions for 3 years now, but my son did so terrible on cow’s milk formula that I was worried about giving him cow’s milk. So, I researched it more and saw that I could substitute goat’s milk.  We are using the Meyenberg powdered goat milk and I’m adding vitamins and supplements to it. He is only taking it half the day and the other half is donated breast milk. He is doing ok on it. He still spits up a ton, but not as much as he does on commercial formula. You can find the recipe I’m using here: https://www.westonaprice.org/childrens-health/recipes-for-homemade-baby-formula#vgmf , but I still am looking for donations for my little man. I would love to make it to, at least, a year on donated breast milk…more if I can! Please, please, please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have some milk you would like to share with us. We are more than willing to pay for shipping and supplies. I will gladly replace your storage baggies. We are also willing to drive 100 miles (we live in Savannah, GA) in the surrounding area to pick up milk. You can find me on Facebook: Jackie Ritz, or you can email me at jackielmt@hotmail.com !

The ingredients I use for my homemade formula