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Thoughts

My Natural Miscarriage

September 3, 2014 by Jackie Ritz 55 Comments


Misty sunrise over the field

DISCLAIMER: This story is about miscarriage and what my body went through. Read at your own discretion. 

Some of you knew that I was carrying our 3rd child. But what some of you probably do not know is that I miscarried our 3rd child in late June. I haven’t talked about it much. It just happened and I tried to move on.

Now I’m ready to talk about it and I want to share my story for a few reasons.

One, it’s part of my healing process…I am ready to open up about it and I know this will be very therapeutic to me.

Two, I want to share what a natural miscarriage is like in the comfort of your own home.

Three, this life I carried is worth talking about…even if I only carried him/her for 13 weeks.

Four, more women need to talk about miscarriage. It’s very taboo, yet it happens to to many.

The Story

I was at 13 weeks and things felt like they were going great. I had my energy back. I wasn’t sleeping all the time. I was able to catch up on work that I had put behind me. And I was finally back to my normal pre-pregnancy self! I celebrated getting over the hump of the first trimester with my husband and the relief that every woman seems to feel when they move past that 12 week hump.

Then one afternoon I had some spotting. It wasn’t a lot and it wasn’t enough to worry me. I knew spotting during pregnancy was normal. I had carried 2 other babies full term. But it kept happening. Not a lot of blood, just a little.

I finally told my husband as we were doing the evening chores. He showed concern…which then made feel feel more concerned. He told me I should call my midwife and just talk it over with her. It was a Friday night.

My midwife told me that spotting was completely normal but if I had any concern that I could have it looked at. It was Friday night so the only thing I could do was go to the ER or wait to come in to her office on Monday morning.

My husband and I decided that we didn’t want to wait till Monday so we went into the ER…with both our kids in tow because we couldn’t find anyone to watch them.

They took me back and told my husband that he wouldn’t be able to be with me because he had our 2 kids with him. I was super pissed about this but was strong and said it would be alright. Up until this point I didn’t have any cramping, but then I started to feel a dull pain in my lower back. That was when it finally hit me that a miscarriage was probably inevitable. With both my children, I had back labor, so I recognized this pain.

I was rolled into the ultrasound technician’s room and she placed the cold doppler on my small pregnant bump. For about 5 minutes she pushed buttons, took measurements, but DIDN’T SAY A  THING TO ME. I was irritated and asked her if everything was alright. She said she had to go grab a doctor. My heart sank.

A doctor came back in with her, they both looked at the screen, and then they both walked out. I layed there on the hospital bed wanting it all to be over.I wanted them to tell me the baby was gone and be done with it. Why was this whole process taking so long?

The ultrasound technician came back in and STILL did not look or talk to me. I said, “Excuse me, ma’am, could you please tell me what’s going on?” She FINALLY looked at me and said, “I’m not supposed to say anything.” Then I simply said, “Is the baby gone?” And she nodded her head yes.

I laid on that hospital bed in a daze. It seemed like 10 minutes before anyone came and got me and rolled me back to my room. I actually felt very emotionless. I felt numb. I felt betrayed, once again, by my body.

The ER doctor came in to give me my results…which he didn’t know I already had. I think she was expecting me to break down and cry and hold my hand and was surprised when I said, “Can I please go home now?” She wanted to talk about a DNC and I said no. I wanted my body to release the baby naturally.

I went home that Friday night with my husband and my 2 kids and another broken heart. I had a miscarriage before but it was early on. I was nearly in my second trimester this time. So, I tried to move on with my weekend and just let my body do it’s job.

Saturday came. Nothing. Sunday came…nothing. Monday came…nothing. The waiting was torture.

Then Tuesday night I was outside helping with the farm chores in our pasture and I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen and then felt something slip out of me. I looked up at my husband and told him that it was beginning. The cramping was intense and I could barely stand up straight and walk inside to sit on the toilet. Once I got inside and sat down on the toilet I saw our baby.

I could see our babies eyes forming. I saw the feet and the toes. I saw five tiny fingers and from my best judgement our baby was a little boy. I sat on the toilet and I finally cried. I held our baby and couldn’t stop staring at him. The contractions I was having were very painful and it felt good to cry through them while holding my baby. He was worth it.

I set him down on the counter and tried to get up so I could go get my husband. He came in and I showed him our baby. We both held each other and kissed our baby goodbye. I asked my husband to bury him under my favorite maple tree, and so he did.

My husband came back in and was with me EVERY second. I felt a gush of water flow down my legs and knew that was the water breaking. I sat down on the toilet for what seemed like an hour after this. The contractions and pain were so hard and the next 24 hours were very much like birth. I bled a lot and had huge clots that I passed. I thought I had passed the placenta with the water that broke but I was wrong. I’m not sure what I was birthing, but I was grateful my husband was holding my hand through it all.

My back was on fire and at some point it slowed down and my husband helped clean me up and put me in bed. He applied my essential oils to my body. A soothing blend on my back pain, white fir and lavender on my abdomen and clary sage over my abdomen as well. Thankfully, I slept pretty good that night but the next morning was another day of intense contractions and lots of bleeding. The contractions and the cramping went on for 2 days. The bleeding slowed down after about 24 hours. I still was passing clots and I was unsure how long this was going to last. It was Tuesday when this started and on Thursday I felt things slowing down.

Then a huge contraction came. I got up and told my husband I feel like pushing. He directed me to the toilet and I sat down and pushed. The placenta (which was the size of my hand) shot out of me and I felt so relieved. I told my husband I just delivered the placenta and he went in to make sure that was what it was. He showed it to me and I cried as I looked at it…the organ that nourished my baby for 13 weeks was now out of my body. He asked if I wanted to keep it and I told him to bury it with our baby.

From the moment the placenta came out, my body felt 100 times better. The emotional torture of the whole process was worth it.  I got to hold my baby, say goodbye and bury him.

It’s been over 2 months since I said goodbye to my 4th, and final, baby. We tried for a third and I am 100% positive that I cannot go through this again. I was so grateful that I let my body naturally miscarry and that I didn’t opt for a DNC. I was so grateful that I was at home…even though it was not the home birth I was hoping for.

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose…

And I have. My purpose and vision is for other women going through tragedy’s, such as mine, to find refuge and security from the storm. My purpose is to cry with them, love on them, encourage them…never show judgment…always love, always grace.

My heart goes out to all of you who have been down this road before. I pray that mercy washes over you and you find peace.

 

Jackie xoxo

Filed Under: About Me, Natural Living, Thoughts

How to Cut the Cable and Not Feel Deprived

April 15, 2014 by Jackie Ritz 20 Comments

How to Cut Your Cable and Not Feel Deprived.001

Have you recently taken a close look at your cable bill? Do you see lots of taxes, charges, and fees that kind of snuck their way into your bill? I remember the last time I looked at my cable bill and thought, “what a waste of money” and I called the company up and I cut the bill. I was tired of feeling like I was getting ripped off. What’s funny is that cable didn’t start off that way in the late 40’s, and what once was a small localized business, has turned into a ginormous industry of penny-pushing and trying to make as much as they can off the consumer.

According to Consumer Reports, the average household will spend $154 a month on cable. Over a year that is over $1,800! That is more than I spend on our family’s clothes and, quite possibly, it is more than what you spend on groceries every month.

I published this article about a year ago and mentioned that we decided to cut our cable because we were aggressively trying to pay off debt. Cutting our cable was a tough decision at the time. I dreamed of Little House on the Prairie nights in our house with our kids…but it never works out quite like that! However, in the 2 years that we have cut out cable, I have never felt deprived or felt like I missed out on the latest shows. Let me show you how to get around the cable pit so that you can start saving money on cable and start using that money for something much more necessary (organic produce, quality meats, or paying off debt).

How to Cut Your Cable in 5 Easy Steps

Step One:

Shop around in your area for the BEST internet provider. Most cable providers have the internet charges wrapped up like some fancy wording “triple play“. Look in your area and see who offers the best rates for internet service. WOW, Wave, and Verizon FiOS have the best ratings according to Consumer Reports. Work a deal with them. See what their charges are for just internet and phone (if you need that).

Step Two:

Call your provider and tell them YOU ARE DONE. This is a tricky step because the hagglers for cable companies ARE GOOD. Do not let them reel you in. Tell them you are tired of the added fees and service charges and that you want your cable to be done. If you found out that they offered the best deals on “strictly” internet, then keep the internet but ditch the cable. Make sure to work out a deal!

Step Three:

Get the no-cable essentials…unless you are going COMPLETE no cable. We love our Roku and we can stream shows, yes, even the latest Grey’s Anatomy shows, on it. The best thing about my Roku is that you do not even need a DVR anymore. You can play the shows at your convenience. Many new televisions have a built-in cable antenna. Check to see if yours does. If it doesn’t, then I recommend this Radio Shack antenna. This allows you to tap into FREE broadcast table which airs all the major channels like FOX, ABC and NBC. You thought you had to pay for those, huh?!

No-Cable Essentials: Roku and Radio Shack antenna.

Step Four:

Sign up for Netflix and/or Hulu. What’s the difference? Netflix has mostly older shows, but it is great for kids. My kids enjoy lots of shows from Netflix and lots of Disney movies too. Hulu has newer shows and episodes. What’s the caveat? You have to wait a day or so for them to load up the newer episode after it airs on television. But, if you are anxious and can’t wait, then you can always use your handy antenna and watch it!

Step Five:

Get rid of your extra tv’s! Ok, I know this isn’t for everyone, but we just have one TV in the house now. We have vowed never to put a TV in our bedroom or our kid’s bedroom. However, there are times when I would like to lay down in my own bed and watch the latest Revenge. This is where having an iPad comes in handy! Download the Hulu and Netflix app and watch it in your own bed on your own iPad!

Now relish in the fact that you are spending *maybe* $15 a month on Hulu and Netflix and you are saving over $130 a month! What can you do with $130 a month? 

How to Cut Your Cable and Not Feel Deprived | www.thepaleomama.com .001

Filed Under: Budget, Natural Living, Thoughts

Letting Go of Judging People

March 11, 2014 by Jackie Ritz 4 Comments

Letting Go of Judging People .001

One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception.

But I’ve gotten better at noticing when it happens. And recognizing that it’s a sign of something harmful.

The judging itself isn’t bad. It’s what the judging is a symptom of that’s harmful. I say “harmful” instead of “bad” because instead of judging I’d rather observe that it causes harm.

What underlying harmful causes/situations are indicated by my judging people? Well, here are a few:

  • I am very ignorant of what the person is going through.
  • I don’t understand the situation.
  • I have unrealistic expectations of people.
  • I think I’m superior to other people.
  • I’m not grateful.
  • I’m being self-centered.
  • I’m not being curious, but instead I close off all learning.
  • I can’t really help the situation from a place of judgment.

How That Happens

Let’s take a fake but typical example so I can show you what I mean (I’m going to bold the symptoms, so forgive the overemphasis):

I see a relative who is actively harming her health, who is overweight and diabetic and yet smokes and eats junk food all the time and does other bad things. I know she can make her health better by changing her habits. I judge her for what she’s doing, think badly of her, get frustrated with her, dismiss her because she’s not worthy of my frustration. This kind of thing happens with me and lots of other people all the time — just change the details to spouse, co-worker, kid, friend and instead of unhealthy things, they’re doing something else you don’t like.

What’s going on in this example? Well, first, I’m ignorant of what she’s going through and I don’t understand the situation. She’s been depressed because of her health problems, feeling guilty, feeling stuck, feeling scared, untrusting of herself. Because of these bad feelings, she doesn’t like to think about health, and makes herself feel better through smoking and comfort food. She’s just trying to be happy. And in fact, I do the same kinds of things all the time — I fail. I feel bad. I comfort myself. So I’m not superior, even if I think I am.

What’s more, I’m not being grateful for the great person she is, despite her health problems. She’s wonderful. By focusing on judging her, I’m not appreciating that. Instead, I’m being self-centered by focusing on how much better I am, how she’s frustrating me, how my frustration is more important than any pain she’s feeling. I’m not being curious about who she is, what she’s going through and why … instead I have made a judgment and that stops all inquiry. And from this place of judgment, I can’t help because I have closed off dialog, and have written her off.

You can see how all of these things are harmful. They make me frustrated and unhappy, they harm my relationship with this lovely person, they stop communication and learning, they don’t allow me to help alleviate suffering, they close me off to what she has to offer me. Among other harms.

How to Let Go of Judging

Letting Go of Judging People | www.thepaleomama.com .001

First be aware that you’re doing it, and see it as a red flag. It’s not horrible to judge, but it’s a good sign that other things are going on that are harming you and others.

This takes practice. But there are symptoms that tell you you’re judging — if you feel angry or frustrated or dismissive of someone. If you’re complaining about someone, or gossiping about them. These are signs you’re judging. Recognize what’s going on.

After you notice the red flag, pause and be curious. Don’t get mad at yourself, but be curious:

  • Why are you judging?
  • What expectations do you have that are unrealistic?
  • What can you guess about what the other person is really going through?
  • Can you find out more? (This isn’t always realistic but sometimes you can.)
  • What about the other person can you appreciate?
  • Can you get out of your self-centeredness and put yourself in the other person’s shoes?
  • Can you imagine a time when you were going through something similar?

Once you’ve done that, ask yourself: How can you help? What does this person need? Sometimes they just need someone to listen, someone to be a friend, someone to not judge, someone to accept them. Sometimes they need more — advice, a guide, a hug.

But you can’t help them from a place of judgment. Only when you let go of the judgment that has arisen, and come to a place of acceptance and curiosity and empathy, can you really help. And incidentally, you’ll be a lot happier in the process.

Article from Zenhabits 

Filed Under: Living Sustainably, Natural Living, Thoughts

How to Love Someone Who is Grieving

February 24, 2014 by Jackie Ritz 24 Comments

How to Love Someone Who Is Grieving.001

It’s been almost four years since I lost my younger sister, Dinah. She passed away at the age of 27…much too young to leave this beautiful earth.

My sister felt this world was unbearable.

It collapsed on her.

She couldn’t breath. She couldn’t live.

If you don’t know what that feels like, then count your lucky stars. Many have been to that point. Few admit it. Some go through with it like my sister.

I don’t blame her anymore. I’m not mad at her for choosing to leave me, our family, the life that she had. I can’t say that I understand it. I guess I’ve just accepted it.

In a few days I’ll celebrate her 30th birthday. I might even make her a cake and let 30 balloons into the air. I’ll watch them as they float up and above. I’ll watch them as they move over the mountains and disappear into the sky. And as I squint to see how far they made it, I’ll thank God for the 27 years that I shared with my sister.

I’ve not only lost my sister, but I have been through a miscarriage, and I just recently lost my sister-in-law to breast cancer. Unfortunately, I know grief.

I know it’s hard to love someone who is grieving. You don’t what they want…what they need…their actions may confuse you. You’re scared to say something wrong and scared to say nothing at all.

It can be different for everyone, but, overall, I think humanity is very similar. We have basic needs and when someone that we love dies, we all need similar things.

Things You Can Do For Someone Who is Grieving:

How to Love Someone Who is Grieving | www.thepaleomama.com .001

1. Send Them a Hand Written Card

I still have every card that was sent me after my sister died. We tend to minimize things like this, but to the receiver it could mean so much. To know that someone is thinking about them and praying about them…well, it could get them through that moment, that hour, that day.

2. Bring them a Healthy Meal

A nutritious meal is so important when you are going through depression and loss. Your body is being abandoned, it’s an emotional mess, and the hormones are raging. A healthy meal can bring the spirits up and warm the soul. I love this free website Take Them a Meal. You can coordinate meals for someone and other people can sign up to bring meals too.

3. Clean Their House or Hire a Maid

Picking up the house and keeping things organized is not important to the person who has lost someone. Just washing a sink-ful of dishes could feel like an enormous task. If they have kids, laundry, and other household chores, then keeping a clean environment might be nearly impossible. Go over and help them or hire a maid to come for a few weeks or months.

4. Understand Their Perspective

When someone close passes away, it can, literally, change the way the world looks through their eyes. Understand this and empathize with it. Everything in life now compares to what they are going through. Be careful what you say and/or complain about around them. Everything seems incomparable to their circumstance.

5. Be There for Them (if needed)

But don’t be overbearing. Understand if they need space. Sometimes they want to talk about so-and-so’s life. Ask them about it. As someone who is grieving, their greatest fear may be the fainting memory of that person. Talk about their life and let them cry, laugh, scream in anger…whatever they need to do.

6. Be Selfless

My husband is a perfect testimony of this. He poured out his life for me during this dark season of my life. Not only was I grieving the loss of my sister, but I was a (2nd time) new mom. I had a newborn, a 2 year old, and I was overwhelmed. Life came crashing down on me and without my husband I am not sure how I would have survived. He cleaned, cooked, took care of the kids, took care of my family, and was a shoulder I cried on daily. He never did anything for himself. He was always there and I knew I could rely on his strength to pull me through.

7. Listen

Don’t offer advice. Don’t offer promises. Just sit there, grab their hand, and listen. Look them eyes. Don’t be afraid of their grief. Listen and love them.

8. Go Ahead and Invite Them

Don’t assume that they don’t want to be a part of anything going on or planned. Let them decide if they are up for a crowd or a party. Don’t leave them out…but don’t get hurt if they say no. I remember a few times I wish I would have been invited. I might not have gone, but the gesture to invite me would have made my day. It would have let me know that people are thinking about me.

9. Be Yourself

Don’t change yourself for your friend or loved one who is grieving. If you used to make them laugh till their peed themselves, then keep it up. If you used to be physical with them and give them lots of hugs…don’t stop. Be yourself around your friend…that is who they love!

Remember that grief has no timetable. It may take someone a month to get through the worst of it, but then it could take another person a year. Be sensitive to that.

If you want to offer more support, here are a few resources that I love:

  • Pruned: Blossoming Through Life’s Difficult Seasons (where to buy)
  • Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide (where to buy)
  • Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss (where to buy)

 

 

 

Filed Under: essential oils, Grief, Natural Living, Thoughts

Simple Living Manifesto: 72 Ideas to Simplify Your Life

February 10, 2014 by Jackie Ritz 9 Comments

A simple life has a different meaning and a different value for every person. For me, it means eliminating all but the essential, eschewing chaos for peace, and spending your time doing what’s important to you.

It means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.

However, getting to simplicity isn’t always a simple process. It’s a journey, not a destination, and it can often be a journey of two steps forward, and one backward.

If you’re interested in simplifying your life, this is a great starter’s guide (if you’re not interested, move on).

The Short List
For the cynics who say that the list below is too long, there are really only two steps to simplifying:

  1. Identify what’s most important to you.
  2. Eliminate everything else.

Of course, that’s not terribly useful unless you can see how to apply that to different areas of your life, so I present to you the Long List.

The Long List
There can be no step-by-step guide to simplifying your life, but I’ve compiled an incomplete list of ideas that should help anyone trying to find the simple life. Not every tip will work for you — choose the ones that appeal and apply to your life.

One important note: this list will be criticized for being too complicated, especially as it provides a bunch of links. Don’t stress out about all of that. Just choose one at a time, and focus on that. When you’re done with that, focus on the next thing.

  1. Make a list of your top 4-5 important things. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 4-5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.
  2. Evaluate your commitments. Look at everything you’ve got going on in your life. Everything, from work to home to civic to kids’ activities to hobbies to side businesses to other projects. Think about which of these really gives you value, which ones you love doing. Which of these are in line with the 4-5 most important things you listed above? Drop those that aren’t in line with those things. Article here.
  3. Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.
  4. Simplify work tasks. Our work day is made up of an endless list of work tasks. If you simply try to knock off all the tasks on your to-do list, you’ll never get everything done, and worse yet, you’ll never get the important stuff done. Focus on the essential tasks and eliminate the rest. Read more.
  5. Simplify home tasks. In that vein, think about all the stuff you do at home. Sometimes our home task list is just as long as our work list. And we’ll never get that done either. So focus on the most important, and try to find ways to eliminate the other tasks (automate, eliminate, delegate, or hire help).
  6. Learn to say no. This is actually one of the key habits for those trying to simplify their lives. If you can’t say no, you will take on too much. Article here.
  7. Limit your communications. Our lives these days are filled with a vast flow of communications: email, IM, cell phones, paper mail, Skype, Twitter, forums, and more. It can take up your whole day if you let it. Instead, put a limit on your communications: only do email at certain times of the day, for a certain number of minutes (I recommend twice a day, but do what works for you). Only do IM once a day, for a limited amount of time. Limit phone calls to certain times too. Same with any other communications. Set a schedule and stick to it.
  8. Limit your media consumption. This tip won’t be for everyone, so if media consumption is important to you, please skip it (as with any of the other tips). However, I believe that the media in our lives — TV, radio, Internet, magazines, etc. — can come to dominate our lives. Don’t let it. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it. Try a media fast.
  9. Purge your stuff. If you can devote a weekend to purging the stuff you don’t want, it feels seriously terrific. Get boxes and trash bags for the stuff you want to donate or toss. Here’s a guide on decluttering. Here’s a post on starting small. More on purging below.
  10. Get rid of the big items. There’s tons of little clutter in our lives, but if you start with the big items, you’ll simplify your life quickly and in a big way. Read more
  11. Edit your rooms. One room at a time, go around the room and eliminate the unnecessary. Act as a newspaper editor, trying to leave only the minimum, and deleting everything else. Article here.
  12. Edit closets and drawers. Once you’ve gone through the main parts of your rooms, tackle the closets and drawers, one drawer or shelf at a time. More here.
  13. Simplify your wardrobe. Is your closet bursting full? Are your drawers so stuffed they can’t close (I’m talking about dresser drawers here, not underwear). Simplify your wardrobe by getting rid of anything you don’t actually wear. Try creating a minimal wardrobe by focusing on simple styles and a few solid colors that all match each other. Read more.
  14. Simplify your computing life. If you have trouble with too many files and too much disorganization, consider online computing. It can simplify things greatly. Read more.
  15. Declutter your digital packrattery. If you are a digital packrat, and cannot seem to control your digital clutter, there is still hope for you. Read this guide to curing yourself of this clutter.
  16. Create a simplicity statement. What do you want your simple life to look like? Write it out. More here.
  17. Limit your buying habits. If you are a slave to materialism and consumerism, there are ways to escape it. I was there, and although I haven’t escaped these things entirely, I feel much freer of it all. If you can escape materialism, you can get into the habit of buying less. And that will mean less stuff, less spending, less freneticism. Read more on how we paid off more than $46,000 of debt in less than a year
  18. Free up time. Find ways to free up time for the important stuff. That means eliminating the stuff you don’t like, cutting back on time wasters, and making room for what you want to do.
  19. Do what you love. Once you’ve freed up some time, be sure to spend that extra time doing things you love. Go back to your list of 4-5 important things. Do those, and nothing else. Read more.
  20. Spend time with people you love. Again, the list of 4-5 important things probably contains some of the people you love (if not, you may want to re-evaluate). Whether those people are a spouse, a partner, children, parents, other family, best friends, or whoever, find time to do things with them, talk to them, be intimate with them (not necessarily in sexual ways).
  21. Spend time alone. See this list of ways to free up time for yourself — to spend in solitude. Alone time is good for you, although some people aren’t comfortable with it. It could take practice getting used to the quiet, and making room for your inner voice. It sounds new-agey, I know, but it’s extremely calming. And this quiet is necessary for finding out what’s important to you.
  22. Eat slowly. If you cram your food down your throat, you are not only missing out on the great taste of the food, you are not eating healthy. Slow down to lose weight, improve digestion, and enjoy life more.Read more.
  23. Drive slowly. Most people rush through traffic, honking and getting angry and frustrated and stressed out. And endangering themselves and others in the meantime. Driving slower is not only safer, but it is better on your fuel bill, and can be incredibly peaceful. Give it a try.Read more.
  24. Be present. These two words can make a huge difference in simplifying your life. Living here and now, in the moment, keeps you aware of life, of what is going on around you and within you. It does wonders for your sanity. Read tips on how to do it.
  25. Streamline your life. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, focus on one system at a time (your laundry system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and written. Then stick to it. Here’s more. Another good article here.
  26. Create a simple mail & paperwork system. If you don’t have a system, this stuff will pile up. But a simple system will keep everything in order. Here’s how.
  27. Create a simple system for house work. Another example of a simple system is clean-as-you-go with a burst. Read more.
  28. Clear your desk. If you have a cluttered desk, it can be distracting and disorganized and stressful. A clear desk, however, is only a couple of simple habits away. Read more.
  29. Establish routines. The key to keeping your life simple is to create simple routines. A great article on that here.
  30. Keep your email inbox empty. Is your email inbox overflowing with new and read messages? Do the messages just keep piling up? If so, you’re normal — but you could be more efficient and your email life could be simplified with a few simple steps. Read more.
  31. Learn to live frugally. Living frugally means buying less, wanting less, and leaving less of a footprint on the earth. It’s directly related to simplicity. Here are 50 tips on how to live frugally.
  32. Make your house minimalist. A minimalist house has what is necessary, and not much else. It’s also extremely peaceful (not to mention easy to clean). More here.
  33. Find other ways to be minimalist. There are tons. You can find ways to be minimalist in every area of your life. Here are a few I do, to spur your own ideas.
  34. Consider a smaller home. If you rid your home of stuff, you might find you don’t need so much space. I’m not saying you should live on a boat (although I know some people who happily do so), but if you can be comfortable in a smaller home, it will not only be less expensive, but easier to maintain, and greatly simplify your life. Read 8 reasons why a small home is awesome.
  35. Consider a smaller car. This is a big move, but if you have a large car or SUV, you may not really need something that big. It’s more expensive, uses more gas, harder to maintain, harder to park. Simplify your life with less car. You don’t need to go tiny, especially if you have a family, but try to find as small a car as can fit you or your family comfortably. Maybe not something you’re going to do today, but something to think about over the long term.
  36. Learn what “enough” is. Our materialistic society today is about getting more and more, with no end in sight. Sure, you can get the latest gadget, and more clothes and shoes. More stuff. But when will you have enough? Most people don’t know, and thus they keep buying more. It’s a neverending cycle. Get off the cycle by figuring out how much is enough. And then stop when you get there.
  37. Create a simple weekly dinner menu. If figuring out what’s for dinner is a nightly stressor for you or your family, consider creating a weekly menu. Decide on a week’s worth of simple dinners, set a specific dinner for each night of the week, go grocery shopping for the ingredients. Now you know what’s for dinner each night, and you have all the ingredients necessary. No need for difficult recipes — find ones that can be done in 10-15 minutes (or less). Check out these weekly meal plans that I love. 
  38. Eat healthy. It might not be obvious how eating healthy relates to simplicity, but think about the opposite: if you eat fatty, greasy, salty, sugary, fried foods all the time, you are sure to have higher medical needs over the long term. We could be talking years from now, but imagine frequent doctor visits, hospitalization, going to the pharmacist, getting therapy, having surgery, taking insulin shots … you get the idea. Being unhealthy is complicated. Eating healthy simplifies all of that greatly, over the long term.
  39. Exercise. This goes along the same lines as eating healthy, as it simplifies your life in the long run, but it goes even further: exercise helps burn off stress and makes you feel better. It’s great. Here’s how to create the exercise habit.
  40. Declutter before organizing. Many people make the mistake of taking a cluttered desk or filing cabinet or closet or drawer, and trying to organize it. Unfortunately, that’s not only hard to do, it keeps things complicated. Simplify the process by getting rid of as much of the junk as possible, and then organizing. If you declutter enough, you won’t need to organize at all. More on decluttering.
  41. Have a place for everything. Age-old advice, but it’s the best advice on keeping things organized. After you declutter. Read more here.
  42. Find inner simplicity. I’m not much of a spiritual person, but I have found that spending a little time with my inner self creates a peaceful simplicity rather than a chaotic confusion. This could be time praying or communing with God, or time spent meditating or journaling or getting to know yourself, or time spent in nature. However you do it, working on your inner self is worth the time.
  43. Learn to decompress from stress. Every life is filled with stress — no matter how much you simplify your life, you’ll still have stress (except in the case of the ultimate simplifier, death). So after you go through stress, find ways to decompress. Here are some ideas.
  44. Try living without a car. OK, this isn’t something I’ve done, but many others have. It’s something I would do if I didn’t have kids. Walk, bike, or take public transportation. It reduces expenses and gives you time to think. A car is also very complicating, needing not only car payments, but insurance, registration, safety inspections, maintenance, repairs, gas and more.
  45. Find a creative outlet for self-expression. Whether that’s writing, poetry, painting, drawing, creating movies, designing websites, dance, skateboarding, whatever. We have a need for self-expression, and finding a way to do that makes your life much more fulfilling. Allow this to replace much of the busy-work you’re eliminating from your life.
  46. Simplify your goals. Instead of having half a dozen goals or more, simplify it to one goal. Not only will this make you less stressed, it will make you more successful. You’ll be able to focus on that One Goal, and give it all of your energy. That gives you much better chances for success.
  47. Single-task. Multi-tasking is more complicated, more stressful, and generally less productive. Instead, do one task at a time.
  48. Simplify your filing system. Stacking a bunch of papers just doesn’t work. But a filing system doesn’t have to be complicated to be useful. Create a simple system.
  49. Develop equanimity. If every little thing that happens to you sends you into anger or stress, your life might never be simple. Learn to detach yourself, and be more at peace. Read more.
  50. Reduce your consumption of advertising. Advertising makes us want things. That’s what it’s designed to do, and it works. Find ways to reduce your exposure of advertising, whether that’s in print, online, broadcast, or elsewhere. You’ll want much less.
  51. Live life more deliberately. Do every task slowly, with ease, paying full attention to what you’re doing. For more, see Peaceful Simplicity: How to Live a Life of Contentment.
  52. Make a Most Important Tasks (MITs) list each day. Set just 3 very important things you want to accomplish each day. Don’t start with a long list of things you probably won’t get done by the end of the day. A simple list of 3 things, ones that would make you feel like you accomplished something. See this article for more.
  53. Create morning and evening routines. A great way to simplify your life is to create routines at the start and end of your day. Read more on morning routines and evening routines.
  54. Create a morning writing ritual. If you enjoy writing, like I do, make it a peaceful, productive ritual. Article here.
  55. Learn to do nothing. Doing nothing can be an art form, and it should be a part of every life. Read the Art of Doing Nothing.
  56. Read Walden, by Thoreau. The quintessential text on simplifying.Available on Wikisources for free.
  57. Go for quality, not quantity. Try not to have a ton of stuff in your life … instead, have just a few possessions, but ones that you really love, and that will last for a long time.
  58. Read Simplify Your Life, by Elaine St. James. One of my favorite all-time authors on simplicity. Read a review here.
  59. Fill your day with simple pleasures. Make a list of your favorite simple pleasures, and sprinkle them throughout your day. List here.
  60. Simplify your RSS feeds. If you’ve got dozens of feeds, or more than a hundred (as I once did), you probably have a lot of stress in trying to keep up with them all. Simplify your feed reading. See How to Drop an RSS Feed Like a Bad Habit.
  61. But subscribe to Unclutterer. Probably the best blog on simplifying your stuff and routines.
  62. Create an easy-to-maintain yard. If you spend too much time on your yard, here are some good tips.
  63. Carry less stuff. Are your pockets bulging. Consider carrying only the essentials. Some thoughts on that here.
  64. Simplify your online life. If you have too much going on online, here are a few ways to simplify it all. Article here.
  65. Strive to automate your income. This isn’t the easiest task, but it can (and has) been done. I’ve been working towards it myself. Article here.
  66. Simplify your budget. Many people skip budgeting (which is very important) because it’s too hard or too complicated. Read more here.
  67. Simplify your financial life. Article from a financial planning expert here.
  68. Learn to pack light. Who wants to lug a bunch of luggage around on a trip? Here’s an article on using just one carry-on.
  69. Use a minimalist productivity system. The minimal Zen To Done is all you need. Everything else is icing.
  70. Leave space around things in your day. Whether they’re appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back. Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.
  71. Live closer to work. This might mean getting a job closer to your home, or moving to a home closer to your work. Either will do much to simplify your life.
  72. Always ask: Will this simplify my life? If the answer is no, reconsider.

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*article adapted with permission from Zen Habits*

Filed Under: family, Living Sustainably, Natural Living, Thoughts Tagged With: gluten-free, minimal living, paleo, primal, simplify

5 Reasons Why I Let My Kids Believe in Santa Claus

December 5, 2013 by Jackie Ritz 23 Comments

kids believe

I am very grateful that, as parents, we are given the choice for so many things. We choose what we believe is best for our children everyday. We make big decisions from the day we learned that we were pregnant with them. We decide if we are going to vaccinate them. We decide if we are going to circumcise our sons. We decide if we are going to spank or homeschool them. When they are older, we decide if we are going to give our teenage daughters birth control, or leave condoms out for our son to use if we know they are sleeping around. These are BIG decisions that every parents must make. I mean BIG. These decisions have lasting effects on our kids in some way or the other; whether they are positive or negative, they do affect our children. And then the Christmas season rolls around, and if you have very young kids, you are going to decide whether you are going to let your kids believe in Santa, “tell them the lie” as so many call it, or tell them the truth. I don’t think this is a BIG decision, but I guess after mentioning something on my Facebook page, many do think it is. So, to each their own. However, I do and will continue letting my kids believe in the fairy tale of Santa.

5 Reasons Why I Let My Kids Believe in Santa Claus

1) Because the story of St. Nicholas is a true story.  Saint Nicholas (15 March 270 – 6 December 343) also called Nikolaos of Myra, was a historic 4th-century saint and Greek Bishop of Myra. He had a reputation for secret gift-giving, such as putting coins in the shoes of those who left them out for him, and thus became the model for Santa Claus (1).

There are many legends about St. Nicholas of Myra. One story tells how he helped three poor sisters. Their father did not have enough money to pay their dowries and thought of selling them into servitude. Three times, St. Nicholas secretly went to their house at night and put a bag of money inside. The man used the money so that one of his daughters could marry. On the third visit, the man saw St. Nicholas and thanked him for his kindness. He also reportedly saved three men who were falsely imprisoned and sentenced to death (2).

2) Because I believe fantasy is so important to growing children. I am an avid believer in the Charlotte Mason schooling method. It’s the method I use with my kids because it is about giving kids a firm foundation of “living books“. Living books are books that come alive to children. Think of your favorite childhood book…it most likely was a living book; one that evoked fantasy and the desire for the story to never end. Fantasy stimulates the imagination, creativity and wonder, and we need more, not less of it. And I’m not lying to my kids, I’m letting them have a little imagination with something that is rooted in history.

3) Because I believe in the spirit of giving and not taking credit for something makes me even more humble. Santa gives the kids one or two gifts a year…big gifts! I make sure that the kids know that mommy and daddy give certain gifts though. My kids are only young once and when they grow up there will be no more fantasy. Life will be so serious. They will cry over every boyfriend that breaks their heart and every basketball game they lose. Then they will be gone and have their own families and will decide if they will tell their kids the truth about Santa Claus. And, in that moment, I hope when they think back on all the Christmases that they spent with us growing up…I hope they smile. I hope they remember the love we shared together…the anticipation of Christ…the anticipation of Santa.

4) Because the life of Santa Claus does NOT take away from the life of Christ. Santa is not the highlight of Christmas in our house. We recognize Advent and, everyday, we talk about the life of Jesus leading up to His glorious birth. Christmas day we have a birthday party for Jesus with cake and songs and dancing. Jesus is the icing on the cake.

5) Because I believed in Santa growing up and it was awesome. And when my dad told me that HE WAS SANTA I thought that was the coolest thing ever. It never broke me or made me think less of my parents for “telling me such a lie”. It made me appreciate the selflessness that went into Christmas in my house growing up. We were a lower income family when I was a child and my dad worked his butt off to make Christmas magical. And the fact that they didn’t take credit for all the amazing gifts they gave us??? Made me love them even more.

So, what do you do? Do you let your kids believe in Santa or not? 

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Sources:

(1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas

(2) https://www.biography.com/people/st-nicholas-204635

Photo Credit: Flickr

Filed Under: Holiday, Thoughts Tagged With: christmas season, kids believe in santa, st. nick

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Hi, I'm Jackie Ritz and welcome to The Paleo Mama! I'm a published author, certified herbalist, and voracious researcher of natural medicine and nutrition. I'm glad you're here and I hope you stick around for awhile!

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