milk sharing

What Does 125 Gallons of Donated Breast Milk Look Like?

November 6, 2013 by Jackie Ritz 30 Comments

A friend asked me yesterday what my most popular, or most viewed post was. I shared with her THIS POST. It was written about a little under 2 years ago during a very challenging time. I re-read it and was in tears. Every emotion came back to me and I remembered every terrible detail of that period in my life.

I’ve shared with you all that I lost my younger sister 2 years ago to suicide. My son was a newborn at the time, well, he was 2 months old, and I was breastfeeding him. He actually was so easy to breastfeed compared to my daughter. I had horrible issues with my daughter, including her completely taking a chunk of my nipple off. And, yes, stubborn me, I nursed right through it all. I was super-mama. I could nurse with a missing nipple…even though I, secretly, despised every whimper or cry my daughter made to nurse when she was hungry.

My son was a completely different story. I was so happy that we had such a good nursing relationship from the start. I guess this is how it usually is with your second child. However, the day my sister died, my supply immediately tanked. I talk about my experience more in depth in THIS POST. But, I remember sitting on the curb outside my sister’s house 15 minutes after we discovered that she had taken her own life. My son was hungry and I had to feed him. I had to give life in the midst of death….and I couldn’t. I couldn’t.

I will never judge another mom who I see give formula to their baby. I was so ashamed. I felt so guilty. I felt so inadequate as a mother. I drove myself crazy trying to get some milk out of my deflated breasts. I pumped while I was grieving. I took herbal supplements while eating care-meals that were delivered to us. I wore an Supplemental Nursing System in the middle of my sister’s funeral. I tried and I tried and I tried…and I failed. My body was telling me I needed the rest. My body was telling me to focus on myself…on my grief…on my loss. But I could not just let it go. Here I am trying to care for my 2 year old and my newborn baby …but my body was not able to keep up with the high demand that I was giving it.

Embarrassed by what I had to do…I shamefully, purchased baby formula in secret. I put that formula in my Medela bottles so people would think that it was pumped breastmilk. I even wore a nursing cover while feeding my son out of a bottle UNDER THE BLANKET. I was so ashamed.

My healing…

This is what 125 gallons of donated breastmilk looks like…

Two years later my son is a brilliant, strong, and healthy little boy. I made it. I got through the toughest season of my life. For a short while, I thought he was my curse. How could something so tragic happen when I had a newborn? I was so mad at God for giving me this “burden”. I loved my son so much, but, why? How? How could I celebrate this new life given to me while grieving the death of my sister? We think miracles are flying angels, or healings, or someone someone walking out of a wheelchair. But, I’ve come to realize they aren’t always like that.

Miracles come in the form of plastic baggies and styrofoam coolers and little notes saying that 10 ounces is all I could pump. They come in the form of a stranger handing you a cooler of pumped breast milk and giving you a hug. They come in the form of friends pumping while nursing their babies then giving you their milk. They come in the form a UPS man handing you a regular package, but inside you know that there is 2 months worth of milk for your baby that you weren’t able to produce.

Two years later I have a new appreciation for the community of mothers. They pump and they nurse and they drive 50 miles to give you something that you so desperately need. They don’t ask questions and they don’t ask for anything in return and when you give them flowers to say thank you, they say that they didn’t think twice about it.

My son is thriving today, 2 years later, because of those mothers. You are the reason I got through this. You are the reason I have hope in mankind again. You give birth to your own babies and then you nurse them and pump for mine. Who does that?

This is what 125 gallons of breastmilk looks like…

This is because of you. Thank you for donating. Thank you to all the mothers who have ever donated to ANYONE. You are amazing. You are the angels that walk this earth. Thank you.

I’m NOT Crunchy…I’m CHEAP and LAZY!!!

January 30, 2013 by Jackie Ritz 9 Comments

I am not sure what I don’t like about the label of being “crunchy.” If you are not sure what this means or have never heard it, let me enlighten you with my ever-so, trustworthy source, Urban Dictionary.

Crunchy Mama (defined): “Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions medical authority; tends to be VEGETARIAN (hhahahaha) and/or prepares all-organic foods.”

I love the vegetarian part! Ok, let’s break this down…

“Mother who supports homebirth.”

I absolutely support a woman’s right to choose where she would like to have her baby. I almost had a homebirth with my son! I was 9 centimeters when I got to the Birth Center. Homebirth’s are becoming more popular because of the way that hospital births are run. Unfortunately, hospital births are a business. Please watch, “The Business of Being Born.” Total eye-opener. I had a hospital birth with my daughter. My water broke at home. I went to the hospital an hour later. I was forced to stay in my bed so my vagina wouldn’t become contaminated. In my bed, I sat and sat…and nothing happened, so I was hooked up to Pitocin. Labor started and it hurt. Pitocin contractions are freakin painful! I asked for my epidural. I pushed and had my baby, my beautiful Arianna. I was numb for hours and hours. She wouldn’t latch on and they washed off her precious vernix without asking me.

Now with my son, TOTAL different experience. If you want to read his birth story here, it will save me all the beautiful details. But, his birth was complete opposite. I hated my birth experience with my daughter so I looked for an alternative, and for us it was a incredible waterbirth at a nearby Birth Center. I didn’t even know I was in labor!!! The contractions felt so different than my Pitocin contractions!

I support women’s right to choose where to give birth and I, fully, support and understand the rising “trend” of homebirth.

“A mother who breastfeeds.”

I don’t understand how, if you are human, you CAN’T support breastfeeding. Other than all the health benefits, a good reason to breastfeed is because it’s CHEAP! Holy crap, formula is expensive! And my other favorite reason is because I’M LAZY! How hard is it to whip out a boob?

I know breastfeeding comes with it’s challenges, trust me, I had my share! My daughter was breastfed and my son was, also, breastfed. However, my son was nursed by many, many mothers. When my son was 2 months old, my younger sister passed away. The grief, shock, and trauma from her death caused my supply to tap out. I posted a plea of help to other mother’s…and with goosebumps on my body right now, I am so incredibly grateful to all those mommie’s out there who came to our rescue. I received coolers and coolers of milk from the most unselfish and generous people in the world. I had to buy a new deep freezer! I even received 2 donations from 2 seperate mother’s who had lost their baby, yet wanted their milk to nourish another baby. I’m telling you folks, the generosity of mother’s is amazing! You can read more about our milk-sharing experience here.

My son at 6 months old with milk that was donated from a special mommy who lost her baby girl.

“A mother who supports babywearing.”

I LOVE baby-wearing! I love the Moby Wrap for the 0-3 month age and the ERGObaby carrier for the 3 month and above age. They are LIFESAVERS!!! My baby’s, like all baby’s, loved and demanded to be held. It’s natural. We are to hold our young. That is what they need and thrive on. I hear it all the time, “My baby just want’s to be held,”…”she won’t let me put her down,”…”he cries when I put him in the swing.” Well, guess what…your baby is NORMAL! I baby-wear because I hate the sound of my baby crying. I babywear because it’s easier. I babywear because I don’t have to try to quietly set my son down and escape out the room. I babywear because I’m cheap and I don’t want to buy a swing, a bouncer, a new stroller, a floor mat, a hanging hammock…my God, what else is there! All those baby products and your baby just wants YOU…you’re warmth, your body next to theirs, your heartbeat, your breath on their skin. They want YOU.

My 3 year old in the Ergo with me (before I lost 50lbs)

“A mother who supports cloth-diapering.”

OMG, I LOVE cloth diapering! And no, I don’t love it cause it’s environmentally friendly and I’m saving thousands of pounds of poop-soaked diapers from fermenting in a land-fill…although that is a plus. I love cloth-diapering cause IT’S FREAKIN CHEAP!!! I have, literally, spent about $50 on my son’s diapers! FIFTY DOLLARS!!! My son is 18 months old and we have saved thousands and thousands of dollars on wasted diapers. I spent about $300 on my daughter’s diapers, which then got passed down to my son. And let me tell you something, he is so cute in a PINK diaper! Yes, I’m cheap, folks, so that is why I cloth diaper.

“A mother who supports co-sleeping.”

This one fits right in with the lazy part. Who want’s to get up and go to another room, feed their baby, and then go back into another room again? Whew! It’s annoying and tiring. Just let your baby sleep in between you. We had this fabulous thing that our kids slept in called a SnuggleNest. It was awesome! It is a little bed that you can put the baby in and it has sides to protect you from rolling over on to them. I know that is a concern wtih a lot of people who won’t co-sleep, but the SnuggleNest makes co-sleeping a very safe option! Plus, there are so many benefits to co-sleeping. And, no, you don’t have to co-sleep forever! We only co-slept till our kids were around 6-9 months old.

All this to say that the bottom line is…I’m cheap and I’m lazy! But you can call me crunchy if you want!

Choosing the Right Coconut Milk (for weaning babies)

October 13, 2012 by Jackie Ritz 37 Comments

My son, Frankie, is almost 15 months old. We weaned him from breast milk about a month ago because my donated freezer stash ran out, so I figured this would be a good time to wean him onto something else. He was on donated milk for almost a year! Incredible, eh? Well, I think so. It was a miracle, actually, and an answer to my deep cry out to God in prayer. You can read why we needed donated milk here.

First off, let me start this by saying I am NOT a professional, nutritionist, or medical provider. I am just a mom who has done extensive research in what to use as a milk alternative. I am also just going to address dairy-free alternatives and what has worked best for my family.

I am very confident in my children’s nutrition and that they are eating a balanced diet. So, milk, for us, is just a compliment to their diet; a treat. I don’t count on it for calcium, protein, or Vitamin D. In fact, there are many days that we go without milk. Even Frankie only gets milk twice a day now. When we weaned him from breast milk at 13 months old, he was drinking about 30 ounces of breast milk a day. So, my challenge was to get him used to the taste of water now. I kept offering less and less breast milk and more water and coconut milk. Coconut milk is what we chose to wean onto. I didn’t expect Frankie to just stop drinking milk when that is all he had for nearly 14 months. I looked at all my choices: hemp milk, coconut milk, almond milk, soy milk, raw milk, and store-bought organic milk. Coconut milk seemed to be the most nutrient-dense, dairy-free choice.

The hardest part about choosing coconut milk was the fact that EVERY single store-bought coconut milk had some terrible ingredients in the carton. The worst of these is Carrageenan. As quoted here off Cornucopio.org, “Carrageenan, a seaweed derivative used as a stabilizer and thickener in foods, has been found to be contaminated with a substance (degraded carrageenan) that is classified by the WHO’s International Agency for Research on Cancer as a “possible human carcinogen.” Research funded by the National Institutes of Health raises serious concerns about harmful effects of carrageenan as an inflammatory agent on the human gastrointestinal tract.”

Homemade Coconut Milk

Method #1: Using Coconut Shreds

Cost: $2 for a half-gallon

So, I tried a few methods of making my own homemade coconut milk. The first way that I experimented with was using Bob’s Red Mill Flaked Coconut Unsweetened, 4 – 12-Ounce Bags to make the milk out of. This was MESSY and not so easy. However, the milk tasted amazing and it was pretty cheap. I used this recipe here and quadrupled it to make about a gallon. It cost me $2 to make a half-gallon of fresh milk…$4 for ALMOST a gallon. However, you need to make sure you get high quality unsweetened coconut shreds because with shredded coconut, the majority of the time the milk has already been expressed out of the shreds. Also, you may want to invest in a “nut bag” to help with the squeezing the milk because this is very messy.

Method #2: Using Whole CoconutCost: $4 for a half-gallon

The other method I did was I used a whole coconut and followed this recipe. According to this recipe, one whole coconut makes a about a quart of milk. The average coconut is around $2 so this method costed me about $4 for a half-gallon of milk…twice as much, however it was delicious! It was much richer than just using the coconut shreds and I could have probably diluted it a bit more with filtered water. However, we liked the richness of it and so did Frankie!

Method #3: Coconut Milk Tonic (using canned milk)

Cost: $4 for a half-gallon

The last method that I tried was this one. It is taken from the book, Eat Fat, Lose Fat. Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients

14 oz can of full fat Native Forest Organic Classic Coconut Milk, 13.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

2 1/4 cups filtered water

2 TB Coombs Family Farms 100% Pure Organic Maple Syrup Grade B, 32-Ounce Jug

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp Kal Dolomite Powder — 16 oz

Instructions

Mix all ingredients together in a medium saucepan over medium to low heat until all the dolomite is dissolved. Serve immediately or refrigerate.

I didn’t have any dolomite powder and am confident that my kids are getting enough calcium from other foods so I didn’t add this. I just mixed everything up in a half-gallon mason jar and shook it! The milk separates from the water as it’s sitting in the fridge so you have to give it a little shake every time you use it. We really like this one too! It was rich, creamy and frothy! I even used it in my coffee a few times.

WHICH METHOD DID I LIKE BEST?

Taste-wise: Method #2, using a whole coconut was the best with method #3, the tonic following very closely behind.

Conveniency: Method #3, the Coconut Milk Tonic was the most convenient and easiest to make. Method #1, using the shreds was messy, took forever, and the taste didn’t even come close to the other two methods. The reason why, is because the process of making coconut shreds, takes a lot of the “milk” out. So, you have a much more watery taste to the milk.

Cost-wise: Obviously, the shreds was the cheapest.

WHICH METHOD DO I NOW USE?

I am using Method #3 and mixing it with a clean Almond milk that I found. Kroger is now making Almond Milk and the ingredients look pretty clean to me. It has no Carrageenan in it and the half-gallon only costs $2.50. So, I am mixing this 50/50 with my Coconut Milk Tonic. This way, it’s not costing me $8 a gallon to make the Coconut Milk Tonic. It’s only costing me about $3 to make a half-gallon of the coconut/almond mixture. Geez, I hope I didn’t just confuse you!

Overflowing in Love and Breastmilk

April 27, 2012 by Jackie Ritz 2 Comments

Many of you may remember that back in February I posted a plea of help to find local mama’s who would be willing to donate their precious, hard-earned and hard-pumped breast milk to my son Frankie. If you didn’t get a chance to read that post you can read it by going here: https://thepaleomama.com/2012/02/26/anymamasmilkistrulythebest/. To sum it up (although I would really recommend you reading it) I lost my milk supply 7 months ago when I had, very tragically, lost my younger sister. Despite all my efforts to save my breast milk and attempt to find a formula to use, my son lost weight, became extremely colicky, suffered reflux, and became dairy/formula intolerant. I was at a loss what to do. I was grieving the loss of my sister and trying to do all I could to find a way to feed my son. About 3 weeks after my sister’s death, a friend offered some of her frozen, pumped breast milk. I took the milk home, defrosted it as fast as I could, and fed my child. As I was feeding Frankie his first bottle of breast milk, tears came to my eyes as I saw his eyes light up when the first drops of sweet, nutritious milk hit his lips. As I said in my blog back in February, these were not tears of guilt or self-condemnation, but tears of joy and redemption. I felt like the wounds and scars that were made, because of my lack of ability to breastfeed, were slowly healed in that moment. Moments after he drank his first bottle of donated milk, I noticed how I had my little sweet and healthy boy back. He didn’t throw any of it up. He didn’t wrench his back in pain. He didn’t scream or fuss for hours after the feeding. He was happy, content, and alert!

I was so overwhelmed with the response I had to that blog post. I was, literally, drowning in emails and Facebook messages about amazing mother’s from all over the world that had milk they wanted to donate to Frankie. My husband didn’t see me for a week! I met some incredible and extremely generous mothers after I posted about how desperately we needed milk. I received emails from Malaysia, Singapore, and Australia from mother’s who wanted to send me milk. I was in tears as I responded to so many of YOU and did my best to express my deepest thanks.

Three months and two deep freezers later, I am so deeply honored to say that my son will thrive on donated breast milk way past his one year birthday!!! The burden that has been lifted by mothers who have selflessly donated to Frankie is indescribable. Words sound so cheap compared to what they have done, however, I am so deeply thankful to the superhero mother’s who have flown into my life and saved my day.

Thank you. If you had a part in nourishing my son, thank you. If you read my blog and prayed for us, thank you. If you forwarded my blog on and shared it on Facebook, thank you!

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