We make friends. We lose friends. We delete Facebook friends that don’t comment enough. We search for Facebook friends from our childhood. We let go of friends who hurt us. We cling to friends who encourage us. We miss friends that forget about us. And we are confused when friends betray us.
This is life. Friends come and go, sometimes without saying goodbye; sometimes with just one click of a button.
We all have friends. Surface friends. Friends that think they know what is going on in our life by reading Facebook. Why is it so hard for women to have real friends? Why do women make it so hard to be let in? We guard and protect like we are a Lioness protecting her young, except this time, it’s our heart that we are protecting. Is it because we have been hurt so many times in the past by women?
I admire my 3 year old daughter when she is playing someplace new. I watch how she makes immediate friends with a new little girl playing in the same place. There is no, “hi, how are you? Where you from? What’s your name?”. Nope, it’s a visual eye contact with the other little girl, a smile, and then the 2 girls are playing together and traveling to magical lands.
It takes us women months and months to develop that level of friendship. We have to get past all the fakeness first. We have to put on a “SuperMOM” front. And, THEN, if they are still sticking around…then, we MIGHT just let them in a little bit.
When I think about the women, my soul sisters, that are IN…they are in me and understand me…it’s always the ones who didn’t put on a mask from the beginning.
It’s the soul sister that farted or belched in front of me. Or the soul sister that said the “F-word” in front of me. It’s the soul sister that hugged my heart instead of my shoulders. It’s the soul sister made me feel like I didn’t have to try to be Supermom, I could just be my broken, goofy, and messy self.
These soul sisters are stuck with me forever.
Friends like this are precious and extremely rare, sadly. Right now, having just moved to a new city I don’t even like, they are all really far from me. 🙁 Making female friends in one’s 40s is almost impossible. Thanks for writing this, though, as I could totally relate.
I feel you! It is hard to find these kinds of friends. I pray God sends you a special friend soon!
This is soooooo true! I honestly have only two women I consider soul sisters. We are so far apart that I’ve never met on in person and the other I’ve seen once in the last 20 years!
This has inspired me! I want to now try and find some rings like the photo, find out my “soul sisters” ring sizes, get a ring for me, rings for them (I have 3 friends who I can truly say are soul sisters), and put together a special note with parts of what you have written and send to them.
the rings would say “soul sisters”.
I also have one male friend who shares my birthday that would be my “soul brother”—I’d give him a t-shirt as I think his wife would approve!
Thanks so much for sharing that! Women would be such wonderful “sould sisters” if they could trust more!
Chris