The Paleo Mama

Homegrown and Handmade

Jackie Ritz

Memoirs of a Sister: Day 1

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I’ve decided to dedicate this next month of my blogging to my sister. Each day I’m going to post a random memory of Dinah until September 23, the day she died. I figured this might help me as we approach the one year anniversary mark of her passing. You see, I don’t want to forget Dinah, I want to celebrate her beautiful life.

And so here I begin…these memoirs of my sister…some may be beautiful. Some may only make me laugh. Some may bring you to tears. This is her life.

Growing up me and Dinah were just like most sisters. When we fought, we fought hard. When we laughed, we laughed so hard that our abs hurt the next day. And when someone disrespected us, we defended each other’s honor.

Dinah was arrested once. This makes me chuckle just thinking about it. Dinah and I were going to the movies one night and as we were standing in line for tickets, a really tall and muscular man was standing behind us. It was our turn to go buy our movie ticket and we were being loud and laughing (like we always were). I guess he was annoyed with us and he butted us in line and went up to the ticket counter. I said, “Excuse me, sir, it’s our turn and you just jumped in front of us.” He didn’t like that so he started yelling at me and walked over to me and called me a bitch.

I looked at Dinah and said to forget him. Then this man proceeded to come in my face and call me a “cunt”. Something in Dinah switched into protective sister mode and she ran over to this giant man (who we found out later had a black belt) and starting punching the living poo out of him. She ended up ripping his shirt and went all cat-woman crazy by kicking him where it counted! Oh my, this just makes me laugh.

Thankfully, the man didn’t raise a hand to Dinah. I ended up peeling Dinah off of him and the cops, who were already on the scene, separated us. The douch-bag pressed charges and Dinah was hand-cuffed and driven away in a cop car. I stood there in horror as to what I was going to tell our parents. I think Dinah was still in highschool and I was in college. We were both still living at home, so I drove home and had the honor of telling our parents that Dinah was just arrested. LOL…oh Dinah.

She was released later that night but went through years of community service and anger management! We never let her live the anger management part down!

I hold this memory close to my heart. Dinah protected me. She defended my honor even though the offender was HUGE.

She was fearless.

She was brave.

She was impulsive.

She was Dinah.

 

When deep cries out to deep…

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I’ve never understood the verse from the Bible that says, “When deep cries out to deep.” I’ve never known deep. What is deep? Is it the bottom of a sinkhole? Is is the deep end of the pool? Or is it the way someone describes a wound? A wound; cut so deep to the bone…piercing pain, severed and bleeding; a wound so deep that nothing seems to heal it.

My father cut his leg 2.5 months ago and it doesn’t seem to heal. His leg has become an allegory for my emotions and aching that I feel. Maybe his leg won’t heal because his heart won’t heal. The pain that the Dinah-wound has left hasn’t even began to scar over. I feel left open, bleeding, and infected with lies. You see, my Dinah-wound is big. My Dinah-wound is cut to the bone. My Dinah-wound is infected with lies that have been whispered into my ear over and over and over again. “This is your fault, Jackie. You could have prevented this.” “Where were you for her.” “Didn’t you see the pain and anguish that she was feeling.” “You could have stopped this.” What kind of sister are you?”

My ears have heard these lies for too long. My heart has believed them. I can’t live like this. I know these are lies but yet I turn my ear to them. It’s so easy to blame yourself even when things are completely outside your control. You see, blaming myself has only pushed the grief farther down. It’s only made me angry and doesn’t let me get to the part where the true healing comes. My Dinah-wound is just beginning to heal. I see the tissue begin to repair and rebuild. I see the infection begin to disappear. I see the blood drying over and the scab beginning to form.

Dinah left without saying goodbye. The devastation that she must have felt must compare to the devastation that my family and I feel with her loss. They say that at a year you should be getting over your grief, but I feel like mine has just begun.

The crushed and pierced hands of my Savior are fixing me. They are reaching down into the deepest parts of my wound and with each “stitch” they are grabbing the flesh and pulling it back together.

My Dinah-wound will never look pretty. It will never look like it did before. The scar will always be there to invite questions from strangers and glances from people who knew what happened.

Dinah took her life and with it she took everything. Everything that I once was.

Dinah & I on my wedding day

This last year I have buried myself into my own personal cocoon. It’s comfortable in here. The walls of my cocoon protect. The walls of my cocoon keep me from moving on. My walls keep me from accepting that my sister is gone. Gone forever.

However, my Savior is with me and has reached His wounded hands into my walls and is forcing me to come out. The patterns on my wings tell of my story. The scars on my body tell of my hurt.

There will be no open wound when He is finished with me. My Dinah-wound will heal into a perfect scar and will only add to the beauty of the butterfly that God is creating out of me.

 

Zucchini Brownies

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A friend of mine recommended me to try these Zucchini Brownies. I thought, “Hmm, that sounds weird, but I do love zucchini.” Then I looked at the recipe and was shocked to see that there is no flour! What the heck??? However there is 1 cup of dark chocolate, so I was IN! It was one of those nights where I was craving something, but I didn’t know what, so I made several things to try to satiate my odd craving.

In walks Zucchini Brownies…craving satisfied.

Here’s the recipe; this is from Fast Paleo’s website.

Ingredients

 

To see the instructions on how to make this recipe, click here!

This recipe is gold! We loved it. It’s pretty rich, so it’s a great treat and it’s loaded with protein too. Next time I won’t use 1/3 cup honey because the chocolate chips and peanut butter sweeten it pretty well. This is definitely a keeper! My 3 year old asked for seconds and I didn’t have to say no to her because they are so healthy!

Fruit Gummy Snacks

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My 3 year old LOVES gummy snacks. I’ve been getting the Cliff Rope Twist from Sam’s at a decent price but I wanted to see if I could create something that was similiar, but homemade. I love having ingredients on hand so that when we run out of something, I can just whip it up. In comes my new love with Great Lakes Gelatin.

A friend of mine told me about this gelatin that is made from grassfed beef. I was immediately fascinated and wanted to give it a try. I’ve been trying to create a fruit gummy recipe for a few weeks now but I wanted to avoid commercial gelatin because of the ingredients and dyes that are in it. Great Lakes Gelatin is a wonderful source of protein too, so how cool that I could give my daughter her gummy snacks, and also sneak some protein in!

Here’s the recipe that I came up with. It is very versatile.

Homemade Paleo Fruit Gummies

2/3 cup of fresh berries (I used strawberries, blackberries, and blueberries)

1/2 cup of water

1/3 cup of Great Lakes Gelatin or another unflavored gelatin

6-10 drops of Stevia or a few TB of honey

Throw the fresh berries in a blender and add a few splashes of coconut water to boost the nutrition even more ( you can use regular water). Puree  it till it is the consistancy of runny yogurt.

Next, pour the berry mixture into a small saucepan, put the heat on medium, and slowly added the gelatin. Stir the mixture till all the gelatin is disolved.

Pour the mixture into cute molds, ice cube trays, or just a small 8×8 Pyrex pan. Pop it in the fridge until it sets. It took about 30 minutes for mine to set completely. Since I used a 8×8 Pyrax dish, I then used little cookie cutters and cut out shapes.

Tada! You have a ridiculously healthy fruit snack…especially if you used the Great Lakes gelatin and coconut water! Even if you didn’t it’s still far surpasses the fruit gummies you buy in stores!

Enjoy!

Spirulina Smoothie

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Spirulina rests atop the green superfood pantheon. It’s a blue-green vegetable plankton that has been a source of nutrition for humans sinces the Aztecs harvested it centuries ago. It contains the highest protein and beta-carotene levels of all the green superfoods. It also is the highest known vegetable source of B-12. Spirulina is highly digestible, protects the immune system, aids in mineral  absorption and reduces cholesterol
(Learn more here)

I’ve been taking it for a few months now. I like to add it to my post-workout smoothie! You can add it to any smoothie, any way you like, but this is my favorite recipe I’ve created…

Spirulina Smoothie

10-12 oz of coconut water*

1TB chia seeds (for fiber)

1-2TB of spirulina (start small and then increase over time)

1 Frozen Banana

1/2 cup Frozen Berries

Optional: 1-2 scoops of your favorite protein powder

Throw everything in the blender and blend till smooth! I don’t need to add a sweetener because the banana and berries are usually enough for me. If you find you need a little sweetening, add some stevia or raw honey! Oh, and I have to make a little extra for my 2 kiddos! They have no idea how healthy this is!

Enjoy!

*I use coconut water because this is usually my post-workout smoothie and it is loaded with electrolytes. You can use coconut milk, almond milk, raw milk, goat milk, or just plain water.

 

 

Confession: I Don’t Use Shampoo

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No, I am not gross. No, my hair is not greasy. No, I am not a hippy.

I haven’t used shampoo, conditioner, or hair products on my hair in a long tim. My hair has never felt so amazing. It’s soft and shiny. It is healthy. I have been doing what people call the “no poo” method. No I don’t put poo on my head…I’m not a Rastafarian!!! Haaaaa! “No Poo” stands for “no shampoo”. Get it?!! Ok, it actually took me awhile to get it. I would hear other natural-minded friends talk to me about the “no poo” method and I just didn’t get it. Then I started looking for a more natural way to color my hair. I discovered Henna! You can read about my Henna journey here: https://thepaleomama.com/2012/04/01/henna-hair-dye/ .

A few months into “no pooing”

I LOVE Henna now. I have done it every 6-8 weeks for awhile now. I will never go back to chemical-laden dyes. Henna is amazing. Ok, back to “no poo”!

“No Poo” Method is used when you make a baking soda paste as the shampoo/cleaning part and an apple cider vinegar rinse for the conditioner part. Ask your mamas how they used to get their hair to shine. They will say vinegar! This is nothing new; nothing hippy. I love bringing back what our mamas and grandmas used to do. They had it right in so many ways. Our modern-day culture is far from where we need to be. When it comes to living sustainably, I am all for it. So, when I finally started to understand the “no poo” method I figured I would give it a good try and LOVE it!

There are many methods that people use. I have found this method to work best for me: add 2 tablespoons of baking soda to about 1-2 cups of water. Pour this all over your wet head. Use your fingertips and really scrub your roots and scalp. This is where the grease starts and where I really focus on. I really don’t bother with the rest of the hair much when I am using the baking soda rinse. I make sure that all my roots and scalp are scrubbed and then I rinse it out. Now, we have been brainwashed to believe that scrubbing bubbles and foam equals clean. Not true! And you won’t get that with this method…or many other natural methods of cleaning. Chemicals are used to create foam and I’m not for that.

Once you rinse out all the baking soda then you are ready for the conditioner. I take 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and add it to a cup of cold water. Because I don’t really like the smell of vinegar and I don’t like the smell in my hair, I add 5-8 drops of Sweet Orange essential oil to the mixture. This smell is heavenly! Next, I pour this all over my hair and massage it in really good, especially into my ends. I leave it on for a few minutes while I finish up the rest of my shower and then rinse it out with cold water. The colder the water, the more shiny and soft your hair will come out. The vinegar rinse also balances your PH levels after the baking soda wash.

My hair used to be so coarse. In order for it to look good, I had to blow dry it and then straighten it. My hair was so damaged by the overuse of chemicals in all the hair products I was using and the overuse of heat in styling it. Now, my hair is so soft I don’t even have to use any kind of styling products to make it soft, like serums. I don’t blow dry it anymore. I let it air dry and then sometimes I will straighten it. If it starts to feel a little coarse throughout the day, I rub a teeny tiny amount of coconut oil on it and it softens it right up.

I love my hair now! Using this method has also helped the Henna coloring to stay on longer and doesn’t fade. The only time I have to re-do my coloring is when my white roots start to grow out.

Hope this encourages you to give it a try! Also, your hair goes through a period in the beginning when it overproduced sebum (hair grease) because it’s so used to be washed everyday with shampoo that strips the natural oils off. Don’t fret! This period only lasts a few weeks at the very most. Wash your hair 2-3 times a week and it will eventually even out.