I’m not sure if every woman goes through this emotional struggle. As I look back over my blog the past year, I can sense how busy I must look and how unattached I have been. Sometimes it’s easier to pump out lots of information and be completely and emotionally detached. It’s been a year that has been filled with so much joy and peace…except in this one area…this one nagging question…should we try again for another baby?
You see, I always envisioned our family have three kids. Frank comes from a family of three children and so do I, so naturally, we always wanted three kids. And we tried…we could keep trying…but it’s tormenting.
A year and a half ago I wrote a very emotional and raw blog post on my natural miscarriage. I said that I was done and and “100% positive that I cannot go through this again.” But the truth is, I did.
Eight months ago we wanted to try for a third child. I wasn’t really ready, but it happened and I was pregnant. Then I wasn’t. And then all the emotions, anger, and the memories of my previous miscarriage all overcame me again. I was so mad at myself for letting myself get pregnant…and I questioned why my body ALWAYS got pregnant but just couldn’t keep the baby.
After reading a book that my friend Emily from Holistic Squid gave me called, “Feed Your Fertility“, and I saw a little snippet in there about MTHFR gene mutation and miscarriage. It peaked my interest and I started reading more and more about this MTHFR stuff.
The genetics home reference explains what the normal function of the MTHFR gene does…
The MTHFR gene provides instructions for making an enzyme called methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase. This enzyme plays a role in processing amino acids, the building blocks of proteins. Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase is important for a chemical reaction involving forms of the vitamin folate (also called vitamin B9). Specifically, this enzyme converts a molecule called 5,10-methylenetetrahydrofolate to a molecule called 5-methyltetrahydrofolate. This reaction is required for the multistep process that converts the amino acid homocysteine to another amino acid, methionine. The body uses methionine to make proteins and other important compounds.
There is a long list of the conditions of the MTHFR gene mutation and what they can cause, but the one that stood out to me was miscarriages. I wondered if my history of three miscarriages had anything to do with this MTHFR stuff.
So, what does any woman with a strong intuition that something wasn’t right, do? Well, she gets to the root of what’s going on and I sent off to have my genetics tested through 23 and Me. Sure enough I have one of the most problematic mutations.
The two most problematic mutations that can occur are C677T and A1298C. The most common forms of MTHFR mutation are below:
- Homozygous: the same gene passed on from both parents and occurs when both parents pass on the 677 mutation, or the 1298 mutation.
- Heterozygous: one parent passed on the 677 mutation or the 1298 mutation but the other parent passed on a normal gene.
- Compound Heterozygous: one parent passed on the 677 mutation and the other passed on the 1298 mutation.
I was found to be compound heterozygous, which means I have a 677 mutation and a 1298 mutation. The largest problem that women of childbearing age can have who carry a MTHFR mutation is that they do not properly break down folic acid, and they also have a very hard time detoxing from heavy metals.
BAM.
Could I have found the reason for my miscarriages? Tears…peace.
I took my findings to a specialized MTHFR doctor that was recommended off of MTHFR.net and have been seeing him for the last year. I have discovered lots of interesting things about my health. I was crucially low in my B vitamins…I mean crucially. I am VERY low in my folate…rightly so since my body doesn’t even process it correctly. I carry a chronic virus that tells my body to constantly fight. And here I was…I thought I was a healthy 34-year old woman.
So, with the help of my MTHFR doctor, we have been addressing the issues of my health. But lately…and loudly… my emotions are taking hold of me and needing closure.
I think I am one of those woman that will ALWAYS want another baby. As long as I can have kids, I want kids.
The downside is, in this “want”, I have never been satisfied with the two amazing, beautiful children that I have. I want another one…but they should be enough for me.
So through tears and frustration, we have decided that I can’t go through this all the time. I can’t go through the agony of a monthly period coming late and the hope that this “might” stick.
I want to move on and be content with my children…the two children that have made me MOM. I don’t need anything more than what God has already given me. And the complete agony of “trying” is more than my body can take.
So, it’s done. I’m a mother of two delightful and precious children. Little Farm Girl is almost 7 years old and is quickly becoming my greatest friend. She’s sensitive to my emotions and always wants to please me. Little Farm Boy is 4 years old. His birth and life has been during the most difficult time of my life, but the past year we have felt a breath of fresh air…renewal…promise…and the ability to create joy within our lives.
I couldn’t be happier. Will I always want another child? Probably. Have we thought about adoption. Absolutely. But I want to learn to be satisfied with the life that I am living right now and the two living blessings that need all of their mommy.
I could die today and know that I have lived a full life. I know my miscarried babies will meet me in heaven. I, also, know that my husband and I are making the right decision. Is it hard? For sure. Do I long for another baby? I do…but I long more for contentment with the wonderful two children that I have.
MTHFR Video:
I can 100% relate to this post and your feelings. We started trying for baby number 2 when my son was around 2 and unfortunately suffered two miscarriages before I found a doctor who would test me for MTHFR. Even still they didn’t really know how to treat it and I suffered two more miscarriages then they referred me to an infertility specialist. We went through a round of timed conception but the whole time I felt like I could be doing this on my own with the help of progesterone and possibly a blood thinner. When our IUI didn’t work, we decided to try on our own and got pregnant. Right away I started progesterone and requested Lovonex which is shown to help women with MTHFR carry pregnancies successfully. I’m now 8 weeks (the furthest I’ve made it) and we’ve seen a heart beat! Even still I’m so nervous and if things don’t work out this time we’ve discussed the possibility of just having one child. It’s so hard to go through miscarriages and we are blessed to have the one healthy little guy that we have. Hopefully we won’t have to cross that bridge though 🙂
I too had 2 miscarriages before finding out I was also compound heterozygous MTHFR. Fortunately after that I was able to start taking baby aspirin and extra folic acid & b-6 and b-12 and as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test I started on heparin shots and those increased in dosage as I progressed through my successful peegnancy. Thus is the result of my gorgeous almost 9 year old daughter. Have faith thatvyour path will be well laid by God for he has plans for you to prosper & not for harm.
Thank you for your encouraging words!
FYI, you really shouldn’t be taking folic acid with a MTHFR mutation. You should be taking methyl folate. The two really are different, I know the government says they are the same but the chemistry does not bear that out. You can really hurt yourself taking folic acid since you can’t convert it to folate. Also be careful of your B12, that needs to be methylcobalamin, not cyanocobalamin.
This is useful information whether you’re trying to conceive or not. It might help you avoid heart disease and certain cancers later as well.
Hey Jackie!! I Have the exact same thing happened to me. Sad. Miscarried twice this last year, and once in 2009 at 5 months! We have a 3.5 year old son. Just found out recently that I have the MTHFR Mutation on both chromosomes. We are adopting this year!! I always saw myself with a big family too, and this is the route that God is leading us. Hey I am in a diamond in Doterra too!! Maybe we will see each other sometime!
I have the same genetic mutations and it had the same effect on me. My doctor had me take Folbee which is a unique dose of all B vitamins that helps absorb folic acid. I gave birth to my first , a healthy baby boy in August. I know you have come to peace with your decision. Not only did this help with maintaining my pregnancy, but I just feel all around better since taking it. Thank you for your candid and open post
Thank you. Would you be willing to share which doctor you saw for help with your MTHFR issues?
Be happy about what you have.
I was also done at two because it was so hard on my body to be pregnant. The doctor said it would seriously compromise my health. My ex husband decided to divorce our whole family. I said I would never get married again. However, a wonderful man came along with enough love for all three of us. We were totally at peace and happy, just the 4 of us. At the appointment to get talk about getting my tubes tied, the doctor had to change it to an obstetrics appointment. Long story short, it did almost kill me and my son. His special needs have been both a serious stress on our family and a incredible blessing. He was incredibly difficult to handle when he was young. I was so stressed, that most mornings I had to have a recovery time and a long cry. He is 15 now. I love him more than life, but I will not candy coat how hard it has been. My two adult children, who are married, have decided to never have children. They say that they don’t believe that they would be able to handle that kind of stress. They both now have good relationships with their brother and take time out of their schedules to make sure they connect with him. I have always wanted many children and my husband came from a big family. If my youngest had not had so many problems, we probably would have adopted, but as it turns out we were needed for one special son who has come so far and will continue to shine. He has worked incredibly hard to get to where he is today, and there are no more stressful mornings where I need to cry. Now, I am three and done, and really, really, really sure that I am done.
But, even though I only have three, through working in the school system and being involved in my children’s activities, we have been able to act as second parents to children who come from less than desirable situations. So, our extended family of children is closer to 20. Many of them have gone on to be successful in their lives and come back to be part of our family fairly often. A few still struggle and we see them more often. My two adult children have followed our example and have started mentoring young people, which makes me very proud. We want our children to change the world, and that is how they have decided to do it.
Dear Trish & ladies;
I’m so sorry to hear of all you’ve endured & yet I’m so encouraged by your strength! I just found out that I have the MTHFR, C677T & right now thats pretty much all I know because this was just 4 days ago! I found this site because I was trying to see if there was an essential oil that I could use to help lessen the endless suffering of nerve pain I’m experiencing! I also have Porphyria (AIP) & Late stage Lyme Disease & now also this? I’m still not sure exactly how MTHFR affects me? But my history is this, due to Toxemia Eclampsia my child & I almost died! She is my one & only live birth! I had 5 Grand Mal Seizures & she was born 2LB’s 12 OZ & of course premature! I had 2 miscarriages after her. My beautiful daughter has suffered cancer of the cervix 5 times in her young life & is now 4 years cancer free thank God & she wants a child so much! She is 34 & was told that now is a great time to try! I keep asking her to plz slow down & get the “23 & Me DNA” test first! I told her she might be at a 50% risk for developing Porphyria which causes “The worst pain known to man” & possibly a child who could have that or even schizophrenia! & she said that she will take whatever God gives her & that she does not want to be tested! However, weeks later now learning I have the MTHFR Mutation (her too) & from what I understand that it can cause miscarriages or Autism etc, so it really is her obligation to be tested & treated & give her & her child the best opportunity for life & health right! Because from what I understand she can take the correct B12 etc helping her to heal & giving her & the baby the best chance for a healthy life right? But as far as I know she isn’t waiting & she’s forging ahead with the injections! HELP!!! There’s no doubt that she has baby fever! So any advice anyone? Can someone plz recommend a laymen type site that I can suggest to her that explains the MTHFR facts pertaining to all these difficulties & possible challenges for a women trying to get pregnant? I would greatly appreciate any help or info! Thank you all & best wishes!
There are various forms of MTHFR mutations and some of them are more serious than others. Many women today who experience multiple pregnancy losses are more likely to have a MTHFR gene mutation. It is recommended to consult doctors who treat mthfr and take a special precautions to ensure a successful pregnancy.
I just came across your article after having following you for a few years. This past year I recently went thru two missed miscarriages. Both pregnancies were found with no heartbeat and stopped developing at 6 weeks. I have been trying to figure out what my next steps were since my traditional obgyn have found no results to the causes of my miscarriages and ran all blood work possible and even did a genetic test on the fetus. All came back normal with no answers as to why or what happened. Was wondering if this was similar to what you went thru and if this is something I should be testing for next? Sorry about your loses!